Holding the Presence of Compassion as a Victims’ Advocate

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A little notice in the Boulder Colorado Newspaper jumped out at me; “Victims’ Advocates Needed with the Boulder Police Department” and a phone number. My Soul took hold of me and I called the number not knowing anything about it. A nice woman answered the phone and asked me to come in for an interview. I showed up still not knowing anything but I followed my gut and instincts, and I would later recognize that call as a call from Spirit.

When I walked in her simple office, windowless and spare, but with lots of photos of people and shelves of teddy bears, I immediately absorbed a field of comfort and depth and support. She said I had the volunteer position if I passed the background check and a training would start in a week or so.

I was only out of my second course of radiation and my third dance with cancer a few weeks but I knew I would conjure the energy for the training—or rather Spirit would supply it. No excuses for me, carry-on …

The first words out of the trainer’s mouth were, “A victim’s advocate holds the Presence of Compassion.” Her second words were, “This is God’s Job.” And her third words were, “DO NOT JUDGE!” The victim will know if you are judging them, they will know what you are thinking of them, the situation, their home, they will pick up on what you are thinking. If you must judge, go home and judge someone or something but not at the scene of the incident.”

I thought, “Wow, I am in the right place!” And I didn’t even know where I was going.

The 40 hour training was intense. I learned about murder, suicide, rape, domestic violence and drug overdose, what the coroner does, what the police do, how to deal with trauma, with shock, with anger, and the most crucial thing, how to support. How to support deeply and fully. How to listen to people’s stories, and that the healing comes in the first moments of the incident.

We are called Victim’s Advocates and it is acknowledged that the word Victim isn’t the best word but no one has yet come up with a better one. It doesn’t mean someone who is “playing the victim,” in this context. It means someone who has experienced a crime or a death or abuse or assault or the like.

And we aren’t to be confused with the Victims’ Advocates appointed by the courts. My job is to attend an incident for which the police have called us to. They are called first. We are part of the first responders team and we support the “victims.” I, and a partner, are on a pager system. I am on call one week a month, Monday through Friday 6 am to 6 pm. The team of 60 for our community covers nights and weekends also. A Victim’s Advocate is always available 24/7 so no one in our community has to go through an unexpected, life-altering incident alone. Not all communities in the U.S. have Victim’s Advocates but Colorado has one of the oldest advocacy organizations around.

My first call was to an assault. A 50-something homeless woman was assaulted by her boyfriend and someone, not her, called 911. I still see her face. Her whole world changed in the instant her boyfriend was cuffed and taken away. “The love of her life,” she said. There would be a restraining order placed, and she would never see him again. She had to make a plan for her life. She hadn’t wanted him charged. This was not her idea or her doing. But as I listened to her tell her story she began to realize that the abuse was escalating, that she needed to move on, winter would be coming and she didn’t have a coat. She needed to drink; she was a chronic alcoholic. One of the officers wanted to give her a ride to a shelter, and my partner advocate didn’t understand why she wouldn’t take a ride. I knew it was because she needed to drink. I had to explain that to them. How did I know this? I don’t know how I knew. I just did, and I just loved her and supported her in what she needed to do for herself.

In MSIA we don’t much encourage telling stories, but in trauma I was taught that people need to tell their stories and sometimes over and over again. In initial shock and trauma it is part of the healing. And I have witnessed this to be so, and eventually the stories stop and the energy shifts, and the deep courage in people’s hearts takes form and moves people on.

Most often we are called to a scene where someone has found someone dead. There is no manual for this and all the training is helpful, but everyone is so different in these situations. Each consciousness so unique. Being a reader for the DSS (Doctor of Spiritual Science) has taught me this, and taught me kindness. A beautiful elder woman with dementia woke up to find her husband had passed in the night. I was called with my partner, and we explained the coroner’s job and waited with the woman and her family and the police until the coroner was done. The dear woman was stoic and strong, but as I was leaving she reached out and I took her in my arms and she whispered in my ear; “I have never been alone.” I just held her tight. I knew in that moment she expressed the truth of her heart …and she would heal.

On the practical side we advise people not to text the news of their trauma to loved ones or notify people via facebook or email—purely for safety reasons, because someone may be driving and reading their texts. Yes, they’re not supposed to but yes, people do. We suggest phone trees and designating a friend to handle as much as a friend is willing to handle. Some people respond to trauma and shock by getting angry. I let it be just fine if a person wants to vent their anger on me, dump on me, scream at me. I have grown strong enough that it doesn’t bother me or effect me at all. If that is what they need to heal and move then I invite their anger, and I have done this and it works. And I am so grateful to my MSIA training and growth and teachings that loud emotion directed at me can be healing for them and not affect me. It is Spirit that takes it after all! And I am just the stand-in for Spirit so let it roll! But mostly people actually seem too quiet in their responses, too pulled inward.

Just last week I had a page to call a man. It took a couple of calls to get a response. Sometimes people aren’t ready to talk about something for a couple of days. So I kept calling and finally he called back and told me he was training to be an EMT and his first call was a gruesome accident involving children. The child he tried to resuscitate didn’t make it. He was calling because he couldn’t sleep, he kept having flashbacks and didn’t know what to do. He asked me, “What do I do? I have chosen this career and I want to do this job but …what do I do?” I didn’t have the answers but I asked inwardly for the Inner Master to tell me what to tell this young man. And I listened inwardly while listening to him. I gave him a few J-R techniques. But mostly I just listened silently to the outpouring of his heart. I felt a blessing go out to him and thanked him for the work he was called to do. He will be the blessing for many he will help. And I knew he would find his way to dealing with what he encounters. He asked me what I do when I walk away from a difficult incident and I told him I take a lot of showers and go shopping. We had a great laugh! I also told him I continually pray for the people and that I have a meditation practice and he loved hearing that. He told me that he also prays and that he was most affected by the father that had lost his children, and he prays for that father. He held the presence of compassion. He is a deeply compassionate young man. It was an honor to speak with him.

Our team has potlucks and monthly debriefing meetings, and we get a pass to a health club and nine free counseling sessions per incident if needed. The others on the team are from all walks of life, and I just love being around them. I am surrounded by what I call a “Field of Comfort” and I have learned the meaning of the saying, “The Christ is The Comforter.”

I love what we have in MSIA through Heartfelt. There are so many ways our various communities can support one another, so that no one has to go through a life-changing event alone, be it a cancer diagnosis, an illness, a death of a loved one, a crime… It is in the support of one another and when two or more are gathered that we most gracefully find our Way through everything and anything. This is what Victims’ Advocates do. This is what we do in our Colorado MSIA community. We are wonderful at it. We are practicing the Living Love. This winter I got very ill, still having immune system issues from radiation, and after being on the floor of my bathroom for 2 ½ hours I knew it was either call an ambulance or call a minister. Well, having a not-so-great emergency room here in Boulder I called a minister and within fifteen minutes three ministers were at my house. One got me the drug I needed which I couldn’t get to, another did a clearing process and one just held me tight and rubbed my head. I was better pretty quickly, got tucked in bed with so much love and was recovering the next day just fine.

We are angel advocates for each other. We are blessed to have each other. We are blessed to be journeying this road to Soul Transcendence together. J-R gave us a community of friends, of angels, of brothers and sisters, of those who dwell in love.

I once heard J-R say that those who dwell in love are One. And I might add, Those who dwell in Love and hold the Presence of Compassion embody Christ the Divine Comforter.

Catherine Corona DSS

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Catherine Corona, DSS, has her BS from the University of Colorado in Distributed Studies, her Certificate Awakening the Inner Counselor, from Koh-e-Nor (USM), and her Doctorate from Peace Theological Seminary and Philosophy (PTS). Catherine worked in collaboration with the PTS Administrative Dean for PTS recognition as an approved Seminary and institute of higher education in the State of Colorado. She is an award winning filmmaker for The Great Mystery, a feature documentary on the 6 Major world religions, (She has spoken at Universities and numerous groups on Peace and solidarity between faiths), and her book Loving: Tapping Your Spiritual Source (from her DSS Treatise) was nominated for the Nautilus Award. She has worked as a volunteer group process leader with hundreds of women inmates and is currently a volunteer on the first responder team of the Boulder Colorado Police Department as a Victim’s Advocate. She lives at Grace Cottage Ranch, outside of Boulder, Colorado with her 2 horses, 2 dogs, 2 cats and 6 birds. She is an avid hiker, horsewoman, naturalist, gardener and MSIAer, of course.