Forgiving Yourself: A Key to Forgiveness

John Morton, DSS

Most of us perceive that we have done some form of wrongdoing or made a mistake or an error at some time in our lives. There’s something about we humans on this planet that no matter what we do, we seem to find that eventually we come around to an error or a mistake. That’s rather universal in this world. You’ve probably heard it said, “To err is human; to forgive, divine.” I think that knowing our divinity and ourselves as spiritual beings in this world has a whole lot to do with what forgiveness is all about.

For the word “forgiveness,” the dictionary notes two definitions. The first definition is “active pardoning someone for a mistake or wrongdoing.” Let me remind you that “active pardoning” would include yourself. So make sure if you’re dealing with forgiveness, you consider it an act of pardoning yourself for what is considered a mistake or wrongdoing.

What goes on in our learning and growing and in our human experience always comes back to ourself. Somehow each experience begins and ends with ourself. Whatever is in between, as far as whoever and whatever else is there, it’s going to ultimately be about you. Pardoning or forgiveness always includes an opportunity to forgive yourself.

The second definition for forgiveness is “a forgiving quality.” So forgiveness is a part of the action of forgiving. There are other qualities, but forgiveness is a particular quality which is the tendency to forgive offenses readily and easily. Do you have the tendency to forgive offenses readily and easily? Consider if you also have the tendency to forgive the offenders readily and easily. Do you have that as a commitment? Do you have that as a dedication or a willingness? Or is it an accident or something you wouldn’t consider doing?

I’ve heard the point of view that if we forgive an offender or an offense, we’re actually perpetuating it in some way. I consider it’s a mistake, an error in itself, to assume that to forgive or pardon an offender is like teaching them to do that again. From my point of view and my own experience, if we don’t forgive, if we don’t pardon, that’s what perpetuates the offense. To be unforgiving is what can allow or encourage the error to occur again.

I consider that we’re all here in this world learning to forgive. We’re here as human beings to learn to pardon. That’s a primary purpose in our life. God bless you if you haven’t come around to that yet, if you haven’t realized that you’re here to let go and let yourself out of the position of being the one who’s judging or making sure a condemnation is carried out. You’re here to learn to forgive, yourself as well as others and all that happens in this world.

John-Roger wrote the book, Forgiveness: The Key to the Kingdom. What is that kingdom? The kingdom of God. I see that forgiveness isn’t the only key because there are other keys. However, those keys are so related to forgiveness that if you forgive, you’ll be doing all the keys to the kingdom.

Imagine this — if you are willing to forgive and forgive completely all of the offenses, all of the errors and all of the mistakes, you would have a life of freedom. You would have the keys that go with access to the kingdom. You would be releasing yourself from the limitations, conditions, and all the challenges that go on in this world.

If you’ve ever played a sport such as golf then you probably had an experience like me that life on the golf course can be frustrating. Life can be difficult and challenging on whatever course you happen to play or wherever that may be. Maybe it’s your work, your marriage, your parents, or just your place in traffic somewhere. John-Roger said, “You must forgive yourself all things. You must have compassion for all people and the things they have done.”

Now, maybe you’re in disagreement already. Perhaps you’re considering the idea that if you forgive yourself all things or have compassion for all people, that’s a mistake. That would be encouraging offenses or more mistakes and errors. You might say, “I don’t need to forgive them. I need to point out to them the error of their ways. It’s my place to teach them how wrong they are or the many ways they err.” That isn’t your place, so let that go.

Maybe you aren’t aware of any moment where you’ve forgiven yourself all things or where you had a moment of compassion for all people and all the things they have done. That would mean including everyone in the history of the planet, including those who lived before as well as those coming after us. In your own movement of spiritual inner awareness, you may realize you’ve been one of those people in the past. You could also consider that you may be one of the people up and coming, which is sometimes referred to as reincarnation or re-embodiment.

John-Roger has said that when you’ve forgiven all and had compassion for all then, “You’ve done it to the least one of these. You’ve done it unto me. When you’ve done it unto me, the divinity makes itself known and floods the system. We then see God in all beings and we see the divine in all things.” That last statement is talking about the kingdom. So when we have forgiven ourself all things and we have compassion for all people and the things they have done regardless, we see God in all beings. We see the divine in all things. That’s the secret of Soul Transcendence as John-Roger has defined it — “to look for the good and divine and all people and things and leave the rest to God.”

Placing Judgments in the Light

It’s important to look at our judgments, whatever they may be. We want to hold them up and cast them into the light. So let’s bring light unto all judgments, particularly those which would register on the scale as the greatest judgments. Perhaps there’s one judgment that you consider to be the greatest judgment. Bring that one into the light especially and remember to always ask for the highest good.

In Forgiveness: The Key to the Kingdom, there’s the question, “Why am I here?” Maybe that’s never occurred to you as a question. However, here’s J-R’s response, “Judgments are one of the most unhealthy things we can do on all of our levels. If we were to ask what the big reason is that we’re all back here, I’d say it was because of a judgment we placed somewhere, because our judgments are all held against us, and they’re held within in the place where we judged.”

So if we judge physically, the judgments are held physically, and we come into this world to clear them. Yet, what do we often do instead? We do more judging. We go into more judgment.

John-Roger continues, “It’s enough to make you want to say, ‘Cut out my tongue before I do another judgment.’” What if it’s not of your tongue? What if it’s of in your mind? What do you do then? You can say to yourself, “I forgive that judgment.” I realize that forgiving your judgments may not always be the first thing that comes to your mind. When you’re in the midst of your judgment, you may not immediately think, “I forgive that judgment.” So if you do judge, John-Roger adds, “The idea is not to beat yourself up and say, ‘I shouldn’t judge myself,’ because that is also an action of judgment. Say instead, ‘I will be kind to myself. I will be good to myself. I will have peace and harmony with myself. I am forgiving myself for judging myself.’” That’s a good way to place your judgments in the light.

Empathy and Compassion

I look at forgiveness as an aspect of the laws of spirit. John-Roger has identified that there are spiritual laws such as acceptance, cooperation, understanding, enthusiasm, and empathy. I consider that empathy relates directly to forgiveness. In the thesaurus, empathy is considered a synonym for compassion, and I find compassion relates directly to forgiveness. When we have compassion for ourselves and others and all things, we’re into the forgiveness. We’re present with it and perhaps in such a way that we don’t really have to think about it. We don’t have to think, “Well, do I have compassion?” Compassion happens naturally. Our compassion, our empathy, automatically ushers us into the forgiveness. We don’t hold judgment when we’re in empathy because we realize that there but for the grace of God go I. There’s something humbling about that knowing. It’s an understanding that if I judge you, I’m judging myself. I’m also doing something that’s unnecessary when I’m judging. I’m putting a restriction down. I’m putting an againstness in place.

It’s important to come to the realization that our mistakes, our errors, our encounters with evil if you will, whatever the negativity may be, are sufficient. It’s already enough. So there’s enough negativity, evil, errors, mistakes, sins, etcetera, such that we don’t need to add more. When we judge, we add to the negativity automatically. If nothing else, we add to our own negativity. Adding to the negativity equates to being stupid or acting stupid because what it does is create unnecessary burdens, pain, disturbance, anguish, suffering, restrictions, etc. None of that is necessary.

Maybe you feel you can’t always keep your thoughts clean, clear and upright. Perhaps you think you don’t know how to steer clear of judgment. I suggest you do know how. It’s in your choices. Do you choose to judge? Are to clear out the judgment? To dismiss it? Or do you choose to hold onto your judgment? You can  always choose forgiveness, especially those times when you’ve judged.

Have compassion for yourself. Choose to forgive yourself for having judged. That is a key to forgiveness.

Good for the Soul

In the Movement of Spiritual Inner Awareness, we encourage looking at our judgments. That’s how we bring them into the light. It’s like a form of confession. You’ve probably heard that confession is good for the soul. We practice the good for your soul part. There’s goodness for you as a spiritual being as well as your humanness to acknowledge, own up, admit, and speak to those judgments. Where there is judgment, there’s also the one within who might want to hide, pretend, deny, or lie. Consider we all have a part of us who would want to deny our judgments. It’s part of our human experience. However, when we look at our judgments, what often happens is that the part of us who would choose to judge seems to surface. So confessing about our judgments can often be an experience of confrontation with our humanness.

You may find that you aren’t all that willing to look at your judgments, that you aren’t eager to enter into confrontation with your humanness and past errors or mistakes. You may even think that there are things that God does not know and that you can hide. I consider that there is no thing that God doesn’t know. So God knows, always has known, knows all the time, and doesn’t forget. However, God is forgiveness. God is always forgiving. That’s the God we’re dealing with in the Movement of Spiritual Inner Awareness — the highest God, the God that knows all, loves all, and forgives all.

If you want to move into the divine, to know yourself more fully as the spiritual being that you are, then you’re going to be having a face-to-face confrontation with God. To see the face of God, it takes courage to face yourself in your entirety and in every detail. You’re called upon to rise up to any judgment that you carry, knowing the process of awakening and enlightening yourself is good for your soul’s learning and growth while you are in this world.

Now you may judge that you don’t have the courage to confront your judgments. You may consider that you’re not strong enough to confess what you really need to confess. Forgive yourself for your doubts, hesitation or trepidations. Your process of confrontation is leading you to forgiveness. It’s not an exercise about judgment or increasing your judging of yourself. It’s an exercise in forgiveness and forgiving yourself especially. Our judgments stand in the way of forgiveness. Judgment keeps you from knowing and realizing the kingdom of God which is full of love, grace, joy and harmony and always available to you.

Self-Forgiveness

It’s important to look at what you’re judging or expecting of yourself. It’s probably going to be something in the area of Shoulda, woulda, coulda. You might be saying to yourself, “I should have done this. I could have been that. I would have been that if only. . .” Look at what didn’t occur such that you judged yourself, for example, “It was this, but it wasn’t this.” That will be where the judgment showed up.

When you’ve judged, regardless of how you judged somebody or something, it always leads back to you. You’re judging yourself. So have that realization which means you can skip judging the situation and just ask yourself, “What was I judging myself for or judging myself as?” If you don’t know how to do that, or you’re not yet aware of how you judged yourself, you can simply choose self-forgiveness saying, “I forgive myself for judging myself for ________” or “I forgive myself for judging myself as __________.”

When you judge someone else “for” or “as,” you’re actually judging yourself in that way. This is an important point — when you judge someone or something else, you’re actually doing it to yourself.

So you’re actually being very efficient when you move directly into self-forgiveness. You skip how you are judging others and move right into, “I forgive myself for judging myself, “ however that fits and works for you. If you feel you’ve messed up or erred, and you say, “I could never forgive that,” you have just cursed yourself. As long as you won’t forgive, it’s going to hurt you or bother you. It’s going to compromise you. One day, you’ll have to forgive it. So why not today? Forgiveness is the great healer. I recommend a seminar from John-Roger called, Christ is Forgiveness. If you want that consciousness, the consciousness of the Christ who forgives all regardless, you can embrace the forgiveness now by starting with yourself.

We receive a blessing into the mind and the spirit when we say, “I forgive myself for judging…” So say it over and over and over. Minds like to judge. So have the intention to keep the mind in forgiveness. Strive to keep a consciousness and focus that your purpose in this world is to steer clear of judgment and maintain a consciousness of forgiveness.

Do your best to stay neutral and let go of judgments. I would venture that you will often find yourself humbled. Sometimes the mind just won’t let go of something. So ask for help from the Lord. Go into worship and present yourself before the Lord. “Help me let this go, Lord.” Keep calling on the Lord’s name because the Lord needs to come forth with your invitation. There are parts of us that want to pull us away from our worship. Bodies can be attracted to things in the world, and emotions can emphasize the distractions. So how do we maintain that consciousness of neutrality and forgiveness?

With our devotion. Choose to take yourself into worship and withdraw from the world. In MSIA, we call it spiritual exercise, and it is always available as your choice. Your judgments can be lifted from you, but you must choose to hold yourself before the Lord and ask to receive of the blessings of forgiveness. Then God’s grace can be done.

Eternal Vigilance

Eternal vigilance is a password for forgiveness. In the book, Passage into Spirit, eternal vigilance is defined by John-Roger as “the constant state of awareness where no harm is meant or intended for anything.” So it really doesn’t matter what someone does or how they may judge you. It doesn’t even matter that perhaps you don’t want to forgive them. You can still choose to forgive. It comes back to, “I forgive myself for judging. . .” whatever it is that you hold as the judgment, even if that includes when the person is unwilling to forgive you. You could then say, “I forgive myself for judging that person for their unwillingness to forgive.”

Consider that someone unwilling to forgive you is actually reflecting to you your own unwillingness to forgive. Even if you consider that you’re always willing to forgive everyone, you can acknowledge that some part of you is still learning. You can take that humble step to place forgiveness into the unconscious level, accepting that you may not yet be aware of that part of you that holds onto judgment and resists moving into forgiveness. If you’re dealing with someone who finds you unforgiveable, you can choose to forgive anyway. You can choose to forgive any action that you took or that somebody else took. You can forgive it all. So if it’s an action, situation, or condition, material or biological, past, present or future, you can still forgive it regardless.

You can forgive even when you don’t know how to put words on it. You can simply say, “I forgive myself.” If you think, “Well, I don’t believe it. I think that’s a lie,” then you can forgive that part of you who thinks that’s a lie. You can say, “I forgive myself for thinking it’s a lie that I forgive myself.”

Just keep the forgiving going, no matter what is thrown at you. That’s eternal vigilance. “The basic thing we need to do is forgive ourselves for forgetting that we are divine,” John-Roger has said. So keep choosing to bring your awareness to, “I forgive myself. I forgive my judgments. I forgive it all. I forgive.” That’s the consciousness of the Christ that loves all and forgives all. Forgive yourself as God forgives you. That’s a key to forgiveness — the key to the kingdom of God.

Forgiveness Prayer

From: You Are the Blessings

Dear Lord, we ask for Your blessing.

We have come to You in forgiveness—

first of all, the forgiveness that You have issued

to all of Your creation,

that You do love regardless of what is done,

regardless of the state of Your creation

as it moves through all the emanations,

all the forms, all the precise moments.

You love unconditionally, and we come to You in this love.

We come to You in Your sound, in Your silence.

We simply come to You as we are,

in our own acceptance, in our own unconditionality.

We have let go of the judgments.

We have let go of any condemnation

that would hold negativity into our presence.

And we still may not know how to let go or surrender

completely,

for we hang on to our ignorance, our stupidity,

our rigidity, and our karma,

that which we have done that is unnecessary.

We continue and we allow it to persist.

And we give thanks that You let us bring this to You.

We ask for that presence that is the Lord,

the Lord of us all,

by whatever name it is called,

that Lord, the supreme, who is forgiveness.

We bring it to that one,

that we may offer it up in our humbleness,

in our willingness to let go.

We find that what remains is our purity,

our clarity, that which is the true glamour,

that which is the brilliance, the purity, the light.

And as we are willing to forgive ourselves,

we render this forgiveness unto others

as the love of the Lord that You bring to us,

which unburdens us and takes from us

that which is disease, anguish, condemnation,

that which is the wedge in our eye that would not

allow us to see.

So we now see clearly.

We behold the Light and love

that is the Holy of Holies.

And we find ourselves upright.

We are whole. We are strong.

We are full of the vitality,

the life force that is the Spirit.

And we find that it is radiating to all.

We realize the simplicity of this moment,

the blessings that are always present.

We accept this commission,

which is the way of the Lord, the anointed one.

We find that it is to love all regardless,

to forgive all regardless.

And we know when we have lost our way,

we are to forgive, we are to accept.

In this presence, we realize the contributions that you

are always making.

Every experience teaches.

Every moment offers an opportunity to gain,

to grow,

to move past that which binds.

We breathe this in,

that it is radiated to every part of our being.

And we breathe it out,

that it is going freely to all.

And again we ask that You place into us this

consciousness that is awake,

that we may always know it.

And again realizing our humanity,

that we are bound to forget and to lose track of our

divinity

and the divinity in all,

we accept Your forgiveness.

And we understand that as we bring this forgiveness

within,

it creates the greater capacity to go out.

And so we do.

Baruch Bashan

2 thoughts on “Forgiving Yourself: A Key to Forgiveness

  1. Debbie Roth says:

    OMG that forgiveness prayer is exactly what I needed. Thank you John Morton for all the keys you offer to help us come into compassion and grace.

  2. Anonymous says:

    * Wonderful in the
    eyes of the God * Christ is between all,to let us to see and experience how
    much we are wonderful in His eyes,living by the will of the Lord * Praise God *
    The Lord bless,heals and protect you * Amen *

Leave a Reply

 
 
Saturday, May 18, John Morton Interview and Seminar Broadcast across the Planet
You Can Still Participate in the Spiritual Exercises Retreat with John Morton
Blessings of Light for Sandy Hook
Entire Print New Day Herald for May 2013 Available Online
John Morton and Friends Visit Walden Pond