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Having Fun with Life

 

Having Fun with Cancer Life
by Sina Skates

When I was 25 years old, a Minister and Initiate in MSIA, Insight Grad, USM, MSS, working on staff, I was diagnosed with cancer. In spite of all the loving, light, and positive energy I had built up over my years of study, I was still upset. I was angry. I was scared. I felt all the feelings you could imagine, and all the judgments. How could God do this to me?

Deep down inside, beneath the anger, the judgments, the doubt, lived the truth: trust and faith in God. And in my heart, I could hear J-R’s words, “Use everything for your advancement. Use everything for your learning, upliftment, and growth.” Even this.

I wasn’t going to give in to the fear; I was going to give it up to God. I wrote the Travelers – J-R and John Morton. I reached out to Heartfelt for support. I requested light, seeds, cards, absent prayer communion, prayer communion in person and for support during my surgery. I reached out to family and friends. I was not in it alone. I was surrounded by light, loving, Spirit, and my Spiritual Family.

During the time leading up to my surgery, I was blessed with the opportunity to share with John during a Webcast Q&A at MSIA’s building at 2101 Wilshire Blvd in Santa Monica. The message I received? “Have fun with it.” There I was crying, a bit of a mess, a bit all over the place, and he was telling me to have fun with cancer? Was that even possible? Yes, so wonderfully possible.

I went into my surgery flanked on all sides with Ministers of Light. I remember at one point during the prep, my blood pressure dropped dangerously low while receiving blood transfusions. My body felt extremely heavy, like lead. I could not move at all and I felt so ill. A minister in the room stepped forward and began Prayer Communion, while a nurse stood by my side monitoring my condition. When the minister finished, my blood pressure was normalized, and I felt this warm cocoon of light surrounding me, protecting me, and lifting me up. I was ready for surgery and everything went smoothly.

The surgery revealed that the cancer had spread into one of my lymph nodes and I would need a full-body radiation treatment.  I took the pill (an extremely high dose of radioactive iodine) at the hospital and they sent me home for the weekend with strict guidelines to be in isolation. That was the hardest weekend of my life. I was disoriented, delirious, and vomiting for 3 days. I tried to talk with ministers on the phone, since I was in quarantine, but I could not focus enough to understand what was being said. I heard terrible voices telling me that if I fell asleep I would die. But beyond all that noise, I heard another voice, still and steady, it was John Morton’s voice telling me what I heard him say so many times before, “This, too, shall pass….  This, too, shall pass…”  And I knew that as long as I had my next breath, and the next, and the next, I could get through it. Even in my darkest hour, I was not alone. I was protected by the Traveler. And to this day, whenever I am faced with a challenge, I remember that weekend and how I got through it. I hear John’s words: “This, too, shall pass…” and I know I am safe.

Over the last 12 years, since that time, I came to understand that John’s message to me wasn’t just about “having fun with cancer” but about having fun with life. My overall approach has shifted to where Joy, Loving, Light-ness, Service and Fun are central themes in my life. Each day is a blessing, an opportunity to give and receive, an opportunity to learn, grow, share, and be loving.

Recently, in the last three years, my blood tests began to show possible signs of recurrence and my doctor suggested a biopsy of a slightly enlarged lymph node that showed up in an ultrasound. I was upset at this news, but in a different way. Now, 37, married with three amazing children ages 10, 9, and 7. My concern was for these four precious souls in my life. I talked to God. I said, “I want to be here on this planet for as long as I can to play with them, to enjoy them, and to share my loving with them. I trust that whatever is for the highest good will come forward.” I was so grateful for what I had manifested during this time, but I wanted more and I wasn’t afraid to ask.

I wrote the Travelers. I reached out to Heartfelt. I put light around my body and through my neck, I asked others to visualize the clearing and healing in my neck. I chanted, I danced, I smiled and I laughed. I posted on Facebook, and reached out to my friends and family. I prayed for clearing, for light, for grace, I prayed for God to allow me to be here to see my children grow up, to hold my grandchildren and I prayed all of this for the highest good. I went into surrender and trusting and openness to whatever Spirit had in store for me.

About two weeks before my biopsy (scheduled for October 10, 2016) I had a dream, not exactly like Martin Luther King, but it was an amazing dream. I was with a bunch of people, mostly folks I recognized from MSIA. One of the ministers walked up to me in the dream and said, “I have a message for you from J-R. You will receive a healing now.” He placed his hands around the area of my throat and began chanting—words I had never heard before in my life. I also started chanting these words or tones with him.

That morning, I woke up with my alarm, but I realized that the healing was not done. I told my husband that I needed to sleep in. I asked him to wake up the kids, give them breakfast, and I would be up in time to drive them to school. I reset my alarm and through intention, I went back into the dream—the same dream, and the minister was there waiting for me. We continued chanting the tone until the minister looked at me and we both knew it was complete. I held the dream sacred in my consciousness, sharing it just with my husband and one other MSIA minister, until the day of the biopsy arrived.

When I went into the doctor’s office, I felt so joyful. They started preparing all the needles and I was laughing. I was having fun with it. My attitude even surprised myself! When they told me they don’t use any form of numbing medication at this office, which would mean a great deal of pain for me, I looked at those giant needles and said cheerfully, “Okeydokey.” I was still having fun! I was open to be healed, for the highest good, whatever that meant, even if it meant no lidocaine. I was in complete trust. I felt completely free in that moment.

It then occurred to me that I ought to share the dream with my doctor and the nurse, you know, just in case they couldn’t find anything. Why not? They both said that I had a wonderful dream and go ahead and lie down on the examining table.

My doctor used the ultrasound to check my neck for the lymph node. I was smiling and happy. She looked on the right side. She looked on the left side. I was still smiling. She looked and looked. She couldn’t find anything. So I got off the table and we went to the computer. She started reviewing everything in my chart and pulled up all my original records. My cancer originally was on the right node of my thyroid, and she said if there’s any cancer coming back it would be on the right side, and she said, “I marked down to look on the right.”

I lay back down on the table and she ran the ultra sound over my neck again. Finally, she did find a slightly enlarged lymph node, on the left and she said, “Is this what we’re talking about?” She checked the computer images again and said, “Oh no, this isn’t cancer, it’s in the wrong place. There’s no need to stick you with needles today.” This time we were both smiling. I was having so much fun with this! Something had changed her mind. What once looked highly suspicious, now looked completely harmless.

There was another inexplicable thing that happened that day in her office when we reviewed my records. I completely remember at the time of my surgery 12 years ago, when my lymph nodes were checked, that one came back positive, showing the cancer had spread into the lymphatic system. But the records were now showing ALL negative. I saw them myself, a scanned faxed copy of the original document. My name, my surgery date, but instead of “1/3 POSITIVE” it said, “0/3 POSITIVE”. I was shocked. I had received full body radiation after my surgery because of the increased risk from that positive lymph node. For 12 years I had been living with that “truth” that the cancer had spread and could come back at any time. But all that was changed now. The history had shifted, the pages were re-written. I had been healed: past, present and future. The cancer wiped clean from my record, placing me forward onto a totally different path. Thank you, J-R.

What did I learn from all of this? I learned to trust. I learned to have fun with life, no matter what life brings me. I learned that through the Light, through J-R, through the Christ and the Traveler, and through our own openness to receive, miracles can and do happen. We are all blessed in this Movement. I am so grateful that we get to be here, now, and we get to do “all this fun stuff” together as students of the Traveler.

My love to you all, my MSIA Family.

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