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Spirit-Led Parenting

 

Spirit-Led Parenting
by Rachael Jayne

Rachael is the mother of Jeff Morgan, author of “Parenting God’s Children

A good friend of mine once told me about an experience he had when he first held his baby girl. He told me that he looked down at her face and felt absolute awe and absolute terror at the same time. He couldn’t have ever imagined the terror of responsibility. What if she were taken from him? How could he assure her safety and care from this moment forward? At that moment he realized he did not want to go at this alone. He was employing God to be his partner, to assist him in raising this most precious child.

When he told me this story I realized that it spoke volumes about how I have approached my journey as a parent. I, too, have experienced the awe and the terror. And I too have committed myself to a Spirit-led life in which I am co-parenting with God.

I knew I was in over my had after I had my second son, Jeff. I remember sitting down with my spiritual guide discussing a dream I had in which I was shown myself choosing into having a third child. I have often been shown things in the dream state that have later come to pass so I knew this dream held some real truth in it. Yet, I was quite overwhelmed and humbled by the gargantuan task of raising two boys. They were young, fighting all the time, and I was exhausted and frazzled. So I sat down and talked with a spiritual counselor about this Soul that was knocking at my door to be brought into the world. This counselor said to me, “If God whispered in your ear, ‘Would you have this child for me?’ what would you say?” I realized at that moment that I would, of course, say, “Yes” and I did. I also began to realize, and continue to realize, that I would not be able to do this alone—that God would, indeed, assist me in raising His child.

I consider one of the greatest gifts my children brought to me is the growing awareness that I was not parenting them alone., that God is indeed my partner and my co-parent. I was constantly being asked to grow and stretch in my own personality, to overcome my limitations to “raise God’s children, God’s way.”

In looking at how I could describe what it means to be Spirit-led I immediately start with what I know. I know about loving from my own experience—loving for myself, for my children and for others. Loving is the one constant that transcends all the changes on any level of my life. The source of that loving is God. And I identify that source as being inside of me as a part of that greater One who created us all. I would also refer to this source as Soul, my individualized God essence, my Divinity. I further recognize that every individual that I come in contact with is connected to that same source of loving that I am, and that includes my children. My job as a parent is to assist my children to call forward from inside of themselves that God essence as the foundation of their lives.

Parenting has proved to be a remarkable school and laboratory to test my willingness to be Spirit-led and in alignment with God’s will. Anyone that knows children knows what instant feedback machines they are. Before parenthood it seemed that I would be allowed more time to be asleep in my consciousness. Since I have become a parent I have been instantly shown my foibles and misguided behavior.

I remember a time some years back when I found myself chasing my dog around my mother’s pool. As I recall that entire day Gabriel, my youngest son, who was around two, was being defiant and uncooperative. I took a moment at the end of the day to look at what I was being shown about me. I remember realizing how challenged I was in my own consciousness to claim my own inner authority and strength of purpose. I heard this question which I listened to within: “How can you expect your child to follow your counsel when you don’t follow your own inner counsel?” Bingo. I knew the truth in this and I knew where my next level of growth and expansion was taking me. And I could see, as I incorporated this learning, the immediate benefit to Gabriel, and to my other children. As I continue to be more willing to listen to my inner guidance and incorporate the learnings, my children continue to be the beneficiaries of my own growth and personal development.

I remember when we were celebrating the 16th birthday of my oldest son, Sean at a restaurant, Jeff, who was about 13, said,”You know Mom we really like you much better since you don’t let us get away with stuff anymore.” Then Sean piped in, “Yeah, I agree. You’ve become a much neater person.”

As a parent, the awareness of God as my partner has played a major part in my ability to raise three dynamic, demanding, extraordinary sons. Many times I have “tried everything” and felt so up against it in my inability to break free or break through in a situation with my children. It is at those times that I pray, I seed, and I ask God to intercede and guide me. It is at those times that I “employ” God as my partner. In a way, it’s silly to say this because how can I employ God to do a job that he is already doing? I think it is more about making myself available to the support.

For example, at one point I was concerned about my youngest son, Gabriel, not reading yet. I had been placing it in the Light for several days. A student in my PTS Masters class gave me a book for a gift. It was entitled, “Free at Last” and was written about a unique school called the Sudbury Valley School. I recognized the gift as a gesture of loving and appreciation but didn’t give it much thought at the time. Later I picked the book and arbitrarily opened it to page 33. My eye caught the following words: “There was nothing atypical about our personal experience. At school, some kids read early, some read late. All of them eventually read when they are ready, not a moment earlier. All of them eventually read just fine.”

Why did this student think to give me this book? Why did I turn to this particular quote about reading readiness when there are thousands and thousands of books written about children learning to read and just as many different approaches? To me, all these questions are addressed in my approach of being as Spirit-led as a parent. I asked for God’s assistance and then let go and allowed Spirit to direct me. My job is to have the attunement and discernment to recognize what is mine and what isn’t. My willingness to recognize that this one was for me resulted in a much happier six-year-old.

One of the ways I allow myself to be a Spirit-led is to pay very close attention to the messages I receive upon waking, during SE’s and at key times throughout the day. These messages can vary from “Get Gabe’s Halloween costume today” to “make yourself available to Sean today to assist him to clear some upset he is carrying.” Regardless I find that the inner guidance that is available to me consistently provides direction in my life as a parent and brings tremendous assistance and support. Often I am shown something that I need to clear. Sometimes I receive a message that is important to me about how I am using my energy or about how I am holding something in my consciousness. I don’t expect anything, but simply look, observe and become the scientist in discovering and uncovering what is being shown to me.
Another technique that I have used to open more completely to Spirit in my life is journaling.

I view my work with the journal as a way to prime the pump and bring more of God’s energy present into my awareness. As I ask certain questions, my truth steps forward to be heard and my entire consciousness bears witness. It has been a remarkable process of uncovering the very essence of myself to me and bringing forward the voice from within that is my true guide both in parenting and in living. Each morning I would ask two questions: :”What direction am I receiving from Spirit today?” and “What challenges/learning opportunities might I have?” Each evening before bed I would write about the following: “How was I Spirit-led in my parenting today?” and “What do I want to thank God for, or place into the Light?” For a period of time I also asked “What did I make more important than connecting with the Lord today?”

Just as one tunes into a radio to the strongest signal I want to attune myself to the highest source. I also used this ability to perceive my children’s needs. A major aspect of being Spirit-led is using my ability to attune to what is often underneath the surface of what is being presented. I find that as a parent I have been able to cultivate and develop this ability in greater and greater ways in service to my children. Another way of describing this is looking beneath the obvious to what is underneath the words, behaviors and actions. When I really listen inside I can hear some clear signals—when to speak and when to hold in silence, in loving and neutrality. When my kids were babies I remember praying to God on many occasions for greater attunement to their needs (as they were too young to verbalize what they needed). With each of my children I noticed my ability in this area increase.

Life is never boring when I employ God as my partner. I am challenged to approach my life with newness and innocence. But what a blessing for me as a parent and as a Soul journeying back to the Heart o God.

At the end of each summer I would write an “Expanded Vision” for my child’s upcoming school year. My husband and I would call in the Light and ask for guidance for each of our boys in this process. Generally we did our part in preparing a place for God to deliver exactly what each of my boys needed. As a parent I found that by stating this in writing I was able to more completely let go and let God. With my kids, as with other aspects of my life, I have had a tendency to indulge in worry about things not working out. When I wrote and Expanded Vision with words like “Jeff is given the perfect teacher at this time for his current growth and development,” I found that I could let go and allow God to care for my kids. In hindsight I have seen God’s hand in each of my kids’ lives year after year.

One summer I engaged Jeff and Sean in writing their own Expanded Visions. Jeff even seeded for his, and that was the best year that Jeff had in school. Much of what he prayed for was given to him.

I continually used my kids’ feedback combined with my own observations to attune to their inner needs and true essence. With each of my children I noticed my ability in this area increase. In studying in the DSS (Doctor of Spiritual Science) class and practicing ways of opening my intuition through the class exercises, I found my ability to attune to my children become even more refined.

An example of this happened with Sean, the eldest, when he had a new girlfriend. One night he asked me if I thought he would be with this girl for a long, long time. I asked him what he thought. He said, “I think so but what do you think?” I told him that I thought it would be up to him. I suggested that he watch his own inner process. If he found himself finding fault and criticizing every pimple on her face, or the way she did something, he might want to take a look at what was underneath the criticisms—like, was he afraid of being rejected? He just grinned from ear to ear and said, “How do you know me so well? How do you know what I think and what I feel?” I pay attention to as many levels as possible.

In response to an inner calling, request or prayer, or simply by opening and inviting the Lord’s participation, a “spark” of the Divine is ignited inside and allowed, by me, to illuminate the way. The way might be a specific action, an inner picture, or it might be a way out of contraction into an expanded state of consciousness. To me it is as if God is shedding Light on a direction to take and is providing the energy and enthusiasm to go there. This is what I describe as “following the inspiration.” It can happen when I’m writing, or doing something mundane, or often when I’m exercising.

For example, I was working with my two older boys in putting together a teen training called Teen Insight. Both boys had participated in this training in the past and had received much value and personal growth in the areas of self-confidence, improving peer relationships and connecting to their hearts and essence. The three of us shared a common goal about wanting other teens to have a chance to participate and gain similar value, so we were working together to coordinate the training—yet we were not clear on our next steps. While running the next morning I received an inspiration about how to market the training and how to involve my teens in the process. The inspiration came in the form, initially, of an inner picture. I saw a postcard with a picture of a graduation candle-lighting ceremony that had been taken in an earlier training. And I saw how the card could be distributed. That all manifested physically and was used to market the trainings.

Finally, one of the greatest tools as a Spirit-led parent or person is the awareness that we are all here to learn and grow. I see parenting as a wonderful opportunity to gain awareness and grow into greater expressions of who I am. What an incredible school it is. The following is a quote from John Morton, from a sharing with a group of us while we were developing the Spirit-led parenting course for PTS: “When a person gets, I mean really understands, as a Truth visit, that God’s raising everyone, God is the provider, God is the protector, God is the one that creates all the needs being met, and God’s even the creator of the needs. It is about learning. All of us are here to learn. That’s why we came here.”

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