Fletchers straighten arrows;
Carpenters bend wood;
The wise master themselves.
~Buddha

Almost one week before V-Day, Tuesday, February 6th , Valentines arrive in all sizes and colors at Peace Awareness Labyrinth & Gardens (PAL&G.) They’re here to attend a Loving Relationships workshop.

What’s your definition of loving? When “Loving” facilitators, Paul Kaye and Anna Sugai pose the question, immediately a hand shoots up. A man with a big grin (and a gorgeous girl at his side) replies, “Even on a cloudy day, I know the sunshine is always there.”

Paul invites everyone to “this exploration of Love.” I put on my safari hat; ready to go on an expedition through a jungle of passion, pleasure and pride. Oh, yes and maybe a few slips in the mud.

Time to pay attention. “Probably the most intimate relationship [you have] is with your phone,” quips Paul. The Eagles were prophets when they wrote Hotel California: “We are prisoners here of our own device.”

Anna suggests stellar connections are a choice. “The relationship out there,” she says, “is a mirror of the relationship with myself.”

In his crisp British accent, Paul observes, “The energy is a bit heavy in here.” Maybe it’s my imagination or the rebel inside; but there seem to be silent shouts of, “Who? Me? Nooo way!!”

Cheerfully Paul continues, “One way to lighten up is Light” We can “dial in the higher energy.” Human beings are instruments. We can tune into higher frequencies like a radio syncs up with stations transmitting classical music.

Bowing his head, Paul says a Light prayer:

Just now we ask for the purest Light from the highest and purest source;
and we ask this Light surround and fill each person here.

Quietly, Paul says, “It can be as simple as saying that out loud. It’s a superpower that we have.”

Anna proposes that, “We have everything we need right now.”

In other words, loving is a choice. To help us along we’re given questions to answer in groups of 4.

2 Simple Questions:

1.        What gets in the way of your loving?
2.        What is holding you back from moving into greater loving?

FEAR: False Expectations Appearing Real seems to take center stage. So what do we do about it? Paul says, “The antidote to fear and judgment is forgiveness.”

But why forgive when they hurt us???  “Resentment is the poison we take hoping the other person will die,” says Paul.

I understood him to say we are not condoning the evils of the world. Rather we are forgiving, touching into the center of our being and sending ourselves and the other a Valentine of compassion.

Anna and Paul reiterate the importance of taking responsibility for our perceptions. Crooked experiences may have shaped ugly behaviors. Behavior of a “wrong-doer” may feel personal but it’s not. (It helps to remember Course in Miracles teacher, author Marianne Williamson saying, “Forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to go to lunch with them.”)

Paul quotes popular Hay House author Alan Cohen, “To love yourself, just as you are, is to give yourself Heaven. Don’t wait until you die. If you wait, you die now. If you love, you live now.”

The groups of 4 charge into rounds of  “I forgive myself for judging myself for_____”

The facilitators note the lightness in the room. “Why do you feel better?” asks Paul.

One pipes up, “I tapped into my heart!”

Another notices the expansive feeling of freedom. “Loving is possibility.”

Freedom is the reward for choosing Love.  Early on in the event, Paul played a video. In less than 2 minutes I knew This is Love.

Heavenly piano playing by Lucy P. Dickinson – perfect for meditating on loving ­ – captured my heart, too. Lucy took some photos for us too! Here they are: