{"id":110831,"date":"2021-12-14T16:51:12","date_gmt":"2021-12-15T00:51:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.msia.org\/newdayherald\/?p=110831"},"modified":"2022-01-03T13:25:20","modified_gmt":"2022-01-03T21:25:20","slug":"how-giving-back-is-helping-me-heal-after-the-death-of-my-husband","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.msia.org\/newdayherald\/archives\/110831-how-giving-back-is-helping-me-heal-after-the-death-of-my-husband","title":{"rendered":"How Giving Back Is Helping Me Heal After the Death of My Husband"},"content":{"rendered":"

Every holiday season, Thrive Global employees have received the same gifts from our CEO and founder Arianna Huffington: a cozy sweater or pajamas. It\u2019s a tradition. This year, though, Arianna decided to do something different. Starting a new tradition, she gave all of us a\u00a0TisBest<\/a>\u00a0charity gift card that we could donate to any cause close to our hearts.<\/p>\n

I found the gift to be profoundly meaningful \u2014 inspiring me to do something positive following the death of my beloved husband, Stephen Beech, on October 8 this year from brain stem cancer. I donated my gift to\u00a0Saint John\u2019s Health Center Foundation<\/a>\u00a0in Santa Monica, specifically directed to\u00a0Dr. Santosh Kesari\u2019s<\/a>\u00a0Neuroscience Research at the Pacific Neuroscience Institute where Stephen was treated. Dr. Kesari is not just a brilliant scientist and a world leader in the field of neuro-oncology, he\u2019s a warm, compassionate man. He and his team devoted so much care and personal attention to Stephen, doing everything in their power to try and make him better. They never gave up hope.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been so sad, missing Stephen deeply \u2014 and the simple act of giving back has been extraordinarily (and unexpectedly) helpful, taking me out of my own grief. As Arianna Huffington says, \u201cGiving<\/a>\u00a0is one of the most effective ways to boost our own well-being and gain perspective on our lives.\u201d<\/p>\n

To provide some context to my own journey and explain why the gift had such an impact on me, Stephen was diagnosed with a rare brain stem glioma in March 2018 and from that shocking and distressing evening onwards, when we were given the news at the ER, I\u2019ve been navigating the most challenging journey of my life, hoping and praying that science, along with miracles, would heal Stephen and save him. Although Stephen ultimately didn\u2019t survive, our journey has been filled with blessings and support \u2014 gifts of all kinds \u2014 from friends and family members. In fact, giving has been a continuous uplifting theme throughout his illness.<\/p>\n

During the past three and a half years, Stephen and I found our relationship growing and expanding. I finally came to understand the true meaning of unconditional love. All the judgments vanished. Together with our daughters, Chace and Ava-Rose \u2014 and our exceptional caregiver, Ana \u2014 we looked after Stephen at home. It was difficult beyond belief because he had so many setbacks. But caring for Stephen was the honor and privilege of my life.<\/p>\n

At the end of his life, Stephen couldn\u2019t speak or move a muscle. His intellect was unimpaired, but he couldn\u2019t eat, he had a feeding tube and he was hooked up to oxygen, as well as having many other serious conditions. It is the kind of existence which ostensibly sounds unbearable, but Stephen was heroic throughout. He never, ever complained and never gave up. He wanted to live, to be with us, and we all found joy spending time with each other \u2014 listening to music and meditations, watching politics and great comedy, and having a laugh with friends. We had many magical moments.<\/p>\n

The grief I\u2019ve been feeling since he passed away has felt intolerable at times \u2014 waves of pain \u2014 and I know anyone grieving the loss of a loved one will relate. Stephen and I were together for 29 happy years and now I have to learn how to live without him. However, there is a lot to be grateful for: our daughters, my work at Thrive Global and the comfort of family and friends. I\u2019ve also discovered that giving simply makes me feel better. When you\u2019re focusing on others, you don\u2019t focus on your own sadness.<\/p>\n

During his life, Stephen<\/a> was always giving. He was a property manager, a highly practical man. He noticed things that needed to be fixed, wherever we were. In our house, he repaired everything from washing machines to broken chairs. When friends and neighbors had any kind of household emergency, like a burst pipe or power cut, they\u2019d call Stephen, who would stop what he was doing and rush over to sort out the problem. He had a quiet mission to help make people\u2019s lives easier. That\u2019s what he\u2019s known for in our community. Sadly, I don\u2019t have his practical skills, but I do want to continue that legacy of service and giving back in my own way.<\/p>\n

So my gift certificate (along with a donation of my own) is going to Dr. Kesari, his wonderful colleague,\u00a0Dr. Jose Carrillo<\/a>, who also treated Stephen, and the rest of our team, as they continue their excellent work and find a cure for brain cancer. That\u2019s Dr. Kesari\u2019s goal and one he is intent on accomplishing.<\/p>\n

Inevitably, it wasn\u2019t until Stephen\u2019s diagnosis that I paid any attention to brain cancer. Quite honestly, it was too scary. Now I know that in terms of fundraising, brain cancer is a neglected area. And having experienced the impact of the disease on our family, I am committed to supporting brain cancer research in any way I can.<\/p>\n

I also know that this gift certificate has led me to a significant new stage in my own healing journey. Giving is rewarding; I view this gift as a seed. As I find my way in the world without the love of my life, I will seek out further meaningful ways to give back with gratitude.<\/p>\n

This article was first published on Thrive Global<\/a>, December 14, 2021.\u00a0 We appreciate their permission to share the article with you here on the New Day Herald blog.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Every holiday season, Thrive Global employees have received the same gifts from our CEO and founder Arianna Huffington: a cozy sweater or pajamas. It\u2019s a tradition. This year, though, Arianna decided to do something different. Starting a new tradition, she gave all of us a\u00a0TisBest\u00a0charity gift card that we could donate to any cause close […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":110832,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"default","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[266,257],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-110831","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-featured","category-ndh-archives"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.msia.org\/newdayherald\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/110831","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.msia.org\/newdayherald\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.msia.org\/newdayherald\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.msia.org\/newdayherald\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.msia.org\/newdayherald\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=110831"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.msia.org\/newdayherald\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/110831\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.msia.org\/newdayherald\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/110832"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.msia.org\/newdayherald\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=110831"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.msia.org\/newdayherald\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=110831"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.msia.org\/newdayherald\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=110831"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}