I was afraid to go to Conference.<\/p>\n
No, really, I was afraid to go to Conference.\u00a0 So, for years, I made every excuse not to attend \u2013 I hate flying, and it\u2019s a really long drive.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to travel because of COVID.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to spend even more time sitting in front of my computer to attend online.\u00a0 I don\u2019t have the money.\u00a0 I can\u2019t afford to take the time away from work.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n The list goes on and on, but at the heart of excuses was my fear of rejection.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want to risk not being welcomed or accepted.<\/p>\n I came into MSIA in 2019 in a somewhat unconventional way.\u00a0 After discovering msia.org, I decided I wanted to get my Masters in Spiritual Science.\u00a0 If that meant I had to subscribe to Discourses, then so be it.\u00a0 So, my MSIA world felt very distant because it was entirely virtual for me.\u00a0 I mean, I didn\u2019t even know there were ministers in my hometown of El Paso, Texas, until I got ordained in 2021.\u00a0 And I was comfortable hiding behind my computer screen.\u00a0 It felt safe.<\/p>\n But this year, I gave myself too many reasons to go to Conference.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t avoid it any longer.\u00a0 I was graduating from DSS.\u00a0 I hadn\u2019t spent two years in MSS, four years in DSS, and written a Practical Treatise to not attend graduation in person.\u00a0 That also meant I could meet John Morton in person for the first time.\u00a0 I got approved for my Etheric Initiation.\u00a0 And my friend, fellow minister, and traveling companion Lucia wanted to stay for Conference.\u00a0 Unknowingly, I had decided to make this the biggest, most life-altering trip of my life.<\/p>\n When I pulled into the parking lot at Prana, I burst into tears.\u00a0 I\u2019d made it!\u00a0 I\u2019d arrived!\u00a0 I had overcome the fears, obstacles, doubts, and hesitations and gotten myself all the way down I-10 from El Paso, Texas, to the Home of the Traveler.\u00a0 And what did I do upon my arrival?\u00a0 I cried all over the first person I saw because I recognized and knew her from watching the DSS Self-Paced Recorded Format videos \u2013 or what I lovingly call DSS TV.\u00a0 Not knowing who I was, she still lovingly embraced me and welcomed me.\u00a0 For the record, I proceeded to cry all over the next two people I met and then sobbed while walking the Labyrinth after putting my things in my room.<\/p>\n I was staying at Prana, and I\u2019d walked the Labyrinth.\u00a0 I felt pretty complete, but there was so much more in store for me.\u00a0 The next morning, I received my Initiation.\u00a0 That afternoon was filled with graduation rehearsal and time with my dear friend and fellow graduate Valeria, whom I had only met in person once before.\u00a0 The excitement and emotions were building, and the experience was starting to feel real \u2013 or at least as real as any experience at Prana can feel.<\/p>\n Then the big day came \u2013 graduation day!\u00a0 I got to meet John Morton, and he hooded me and gave me a hug.\u00a0 Deborah Martinez hugged me and gave me my DSS diploma.\u00a0 And I managed to get through all of that without crying.\u00a0 As for after the ceremony, well, I had plenty of tears for anyone willing to hug me.\u00a0 And yet, everyone wanted to hug me.\u00a0 No one was complaining at me for my emotions or telling me to stop crying.\u00a0 At most, people would lovingly remind me to breathe, which was helpful because I was struggling to remember to do that.\u00a0 In the midst of it all, part of me was thinking that surely this had been the big moment and everything else would be downhill from there.<\/p>\n That was not so.\u00a0 Having never attended Conference, I didn\u2019t have an understanding of graduation being the \u201ckick off.\u201d\u00a0 Spirit still had a wild ride in store for me.\u00a0 With Thursday came the opportunity to meet more people I\u2019d only ever seen on Zoom and make more new friends.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t believe how excited people were to meet me and get to know me.\u00a0 It was such a refreshing experience.<\/p>\n Friday brought with it the start of the workshop \u201cThe Inner Master Calls.\u201d\u00a0 I had never done any processes in a group of that size before.\u00a0 All my MSS and DSS experiences had been online, and most were done as journal exercises.\u00a0 As an energetically sensitive individual, I was not prepared for what I was about to experience.\u00a0 There was so much energy in that room!\u00a0 It was honestly overwhelming for me.\u00a0 And there I was, crying with snot running down my face, desperately wanting a tissue but concerned that if I moved from my seat to get one, I\u2019d run out the door and go hide in my room for the rest of the weekend.\u00a0 Through my emotional upheaval, I heard Jeffrey and Sherie\u2019s words, asking for us to participate in the entire workshop.\u00a0 I was not a quitter, and I had not driven over 800 miles to hide in my room.\u00a0 I could and would do this workshop, so I kept asking for the energy to settle for me and for my Inner Master to bring forward that which was for my highest good in this situation.\u00a0 Then late that afternoon, I got to share in person with the Traveler for the first time.\u00a0 He saw me, he acknowledged me, and he blessed me.<\/p>\n From that moment on, my entire experience centered on my realization that my Spiritual Family members really see me \u2013 the true me \u2013 and love me.\u00a0 No one told me to dim my Light or that I was being too emotional and needed to stop crying, and for a child who\u2019d been taught that her emotions hurt others and should be suppressed, being not just accepted but loved and cherished in all my expressions was life changing.\u00a0 All I could see was love.\u00a0 All I could hear was love.\u00a0 All I could be was love.\u00a0 Love, it turns out, really is the truth of my beingness.<\/p>\n As day two of the workshop drew to a close, I wasn\u2019t ready for it to end.\u00a0 I wanted it to last forever and ever.\u00a0 I wanted to carry that energy of unconditional love with me everywhere so I would never forget that I am love and the Beloved.\u00a0 Thankfully, my Inner Master helped me anchor the learning and gave me the blessing of a poem to recall the experience whenever I need to.\u00a0 Here are those words:<\/p>\n For you are the Beloved, You\u2019ve been welcomed home, You were there from the beginning, Fear not, my sweet child, Carry on, carry on, I was called to be in MSIA in the perfect time and perfect way, and I was called to be at this specific Conference, to connect with my Inner Master, to learn what Spiritual Family truly means, and to experience unconditional loving.\u00a0 I wouldn\u2019t change a thing about my Conference experience, except perhaps to make it last forever.\u00a0 But I carry it in my heart, and now I know that Prana and my Spiritual Family will always be there for me, waiting to welcome me home.<\/p>\n
\nand you know that now.
\nYour doubt has been washed away,
\nyour consciousness swept clean.
\nYou are the Light you\u2019ve been looking for.
\nIt was radiating within you all along.
\nAll it took was the mirror of the Traveler
\nfor you to see the truth of your Soul.<\/p>\n
\nEmbraced, Loved, and Adored.
\nYou know the Traveler\u2019s hand will catch you
\nshould ever you fall and need a safe place to land.<\/p>\n
\nthe moment the Christ action had begun,
\nand now you are called into greater service
\nto return to the work of the Lord,
\noffering your mind, hands, and heart \u2013
\nyour very beingness \u2013
\nto bring the Light out into the world.<\/p>\n
\nfor you are protected.
\nThe covenant has been sealed.
\nYou were called,
\nand you\u2019ve answered,
\nnow just don\u2019t forget to still breathe.
\nBreathe and receive
\nthe Light of Spirit,
\nthe love of God,
\nand bring the peace within.<\/p>\n
\nendure to the end,
\nfor at the end of the road
\nwaits the Master
\nto greet you as an old friend.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
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