{"id":112855,"date":"2026-06-16T18:27:09","date_gmt":"2026-06-17T01:27:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.msia.org\/newdayherald\/?p=112855"},"modified":"2026-06-16T18:27:09","modified_gmt":"2026-06-17T01:27:09","slug":"our-story-of-a-positive-attitude-and-approach-when-living-with-alzheimers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.msia.org\/newdayherald\/archives\/112855-our-story-of-a-positive-attitude-and-approach-when-living-with-alzheimers","title":{"rendered":"Our Story of a Positive Attitude and Approach when Living with Alzheimer&#8217;s"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>Editor&#8217;s Note:\u00a0 MSIA Minister Tobie Bardsley was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer&#8217;s.\u00a0 She was asked to speak at the Northern Arizona Alzheimer&#8217;s &amp; Dementia Alliance.\u00a0 She shared her speech with us, as well as the speech of her partner Sel Wasson, in case their\u00a0 story is of benefit to others.<\/em><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p><strong>Alzheimers\u201d Group Presentation At NAU<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>On Friday March 20th @ 9am &#8211; Noon<\/p>\n<p>Northern Arizona Alzheimer\u2019s &amp; Dementia Alliance<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/nam10.safelinks.protection.outlook.com\/?url=https%3A%2F%2Furl.avanan.click%2Fv2%2Fr01%2F___https%3A%2F%2Fnazada.org___.YXAzOm1zaWE6YTpvOmVmOTM2YTA0YzI2ZmExN2IzNGIzZDM4ZDY4ZTkwN2RlOjc6ZGE1MzpiZDk5NjU1NTFhZWY1ODAyNjBhMGJjNzdiNTg2ZGZhZjIxY2YzM2YzMDJiZDk1NjE5NmNkZWIzZWI3ZThhZTA0Omg6VDpO&amp;data=05%7C02%7Cdeborah%40msia.org%7Cf1393ac42fcd4412230b08dec8af0589%7C2d2230cb3c994ed0bb6776e451b8821b%7C1%7C0%7C639168851224591658%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJFbXB0eU1hcGkiOnRydWUsIlYiOiIwLjAuMDAwMCIsIlAiOiJXaW4zMiIsIkFOIjoiTWFpbCIsIldUIjoyfQ%3D%3D%7C0%7C%7C%7C&amp;sdata=y1le6jCdUsNvGI3eah2epI1iaYtYC3RG4DmiP4Th7fw%3D&amp;reserved=0\">https:\/\/nazada.org<\/a><\/p>\n<p>__________________________________________<\/p>\n<p><em>Good Morning everyone!<\/em>\u00a0My name is Tobie Bardsley!<\/p>\n<p>I was Diagnosed with Alzheimer&#8217;s Disease on 1\/21\/25<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><u>My primary care Doctor<\/u> ~ \u201cDr. Mike\u201d recommended that I take a Blood Test to see if I had Alzheimer&#8217;s Disease.\u00a0 It was very simple!<\/li>\n<li>After my result came back, which was positive\u00a0for Alzheimer&#8217;s disease, my reaction was \u201cthat it made sense to me\u201d,\u00a0because \u201cI was forgetting a lot!\u201d<\/li>\n<li>I also want to share what my Partner Sel reminded me that over a couple of months I cried periodically and <u>\u201cwailed hard\u201d<\/u> to get \u201cany, and as much upset and fears out of me, <u>so that I could go on with my life!&#8221;<\/u><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t remember doing that, at all!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Basically ~ \u201c<u>I let go!!! <\/u>\u201d\u00a0 I use a phrase that my spiritual group called MSIA &#8212; which stands for the \u201cMovement of Spiritual Inner Awareness &#8212; uses and recommends to let go of any self-judgements.<\/p>\n<p>I forgive myself for judging myself <em>\u00a0<\/em>\u201cas\u201d \u2026.<\/p>\n<p>And then add <u>one word<\/u>!<\/p>\n<p>The key\u00a0part of the statement <u>is the word <\/u>\u201cas\u201d\u00a0and to not use the word \u201cfor\u201d &#8211;\u00a0which <em>\u201cbrings the judgement back to yourself.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p><u>Here are are a few examples :<\/u><\/p>\n<p>I forgive myself for judging myself \u201cas\u201d confused!<\/p>\n<p>I forgive myself for judging myself \u201cas\u201d stupid!<\/p>\n<p>I forgive myself for judging myself \u201cas\u201d having Alzheimer\u2019s Disease!<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>My mother had Alzheimer\u2019s Disease. \u201c<u>I inherited Alzheimer\u2019s from her. <\/u>My older brother &amp; sister did not.<\/li>\n<li>When my Doctor shared with me that I had Alzheimer&#8217;s Disease, <em>he was very empathetic!<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>He seemed more upset than I was!<\/p>\n<p>He prescribed Memantine twice a day, which is a known medication for Alzheimer&#8217; s Disease.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Years ago I was a practicing Registered Nurse, and I worked as the Charge Nurse on the Alzheimer&#8217;s Unit at the Peaks Senior Living facility\u00a0in Flagstaff, so I was very familiar with what to expect and to do!<\/li>\n<li>I decided to be proactive, and I made up a list of 25 qualities that I wanted to find in a caregiver with my therapist! Then I researched different agencies here in Flagstaff and my \u201cgut\u201d said to choose Senior Helpers. Little did I know that I would be their first client, and my caregiver was their first caregiver!!<\/li>\n<li>And the really amazing thing is that my caregiver has every single quality that I wanted to find in the person who would be caring for me! It is my own personal miracle!!! She doesn\u2019t shy away from course-correcting me, or to remind me what I told her what I wanted or needed to do!<\/li>\n<li>I do 4 different activities <em><u>daily<\/u><\/em>\u00a0to challenge and to improve my brain function!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><u>First:<\/u> On my computer: I play <u>V<\/u><u>i<\/u><u>ta Mahjong<\/u> of which I am very competitive!!&#8221; I usually play until <u>I get the first place ranking by more than 50 points!\u00a0<\/u><\/p>\n<p><u>Secondly:<\/u>\u00a0I play <u>Mobility Ware\u2019s &#8211; Spider Solitaire<\/u> -&gt; which is only one black suit and is much easier to handle!<\/p>\n<p>The 3rd thing that I do &#8211; <u>on most days is<\/u>, that I color a Mandala with a marker that has both a small tip and a large end. <u>This can take 4 hours to complete!\u00a0 <\/u><\/p>\n<p>The 4th thing that I do often, is beadwork! <u>I have been working with beads for 35 years!!\u00a0 <\/u><\/p>\n<p>I don&#8217;t mean to brag, but <u>I\u2019m really good at all of them!<\/u><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><u>Another amazing thing that I do in my life is:<\/u>\u00a0\u00a0 <em>For a bunch of years, I have checked in with and shared a \u201chug\u201d with the employees at Sprouts!<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I<u>\u00a0then chose to share with many people who I know there<\/u> about my having Alzheimer\u2019s Disease!\u00a0\u00a0 <u>Then my Miracles happened!<\/u>\u201d <em>\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Now, the employees come up to me, and ask me, <u>how I am doing!<\/u> It is one of the biggest blessings in my life!<br \/>\nI would also add that I believe it is important for me to share my Alzheimer&#8217;s Diagnosis with many people in my life, so that they can know what is happening to me, <u>and that our relationship<\/u>\u00a0can be open, honest and supportive!<\/li>\n<li><em>My <u>second <\/u><\/em><u>Miracle<\/u><em>\u00a0is<\/em>: My PCP recommended 1 herb for me to take, and my Chiropractor recommended another herb for me to take.<br \/>\nBoth were to help improve my memory.<\/li>\n<li>I did my own research online and found the most incredible Supplement that I could ever find!<br \/>\n<u style=\"font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit;\">It is called <\/u><em style=\"font-size: 16px;\">Cognitive Max!<\/em><span style=\"font-size: 16px;\">\u201d\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>With my Alzheimer\u2019s Disease, I used to get agitated and anxious in the afternoon and evenings. <em>Now, I think \u201cvery clearly\u201d <u>all day<\/u>\u00a0and <u>night!<\/u><\/em><u>\u00a0<\/u><\/p>\n<p>I recommend <em>Cognitive Max<\/em>\u00a0to anyone with Dementia or Alzheimer&#8217;s Disease, as well as to elderly people who are starting to forget.<em>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p>I also recommend that they check in with their Doctor before taking anything new! I still take my regular prescription of Memantine, but only once a day now, in the morning!<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>I hope that my sharing with you today encourages all of you,\u00a0and can be shared with your friends and relatives who may have Dementia or Alzheimer&#8217;s Disease!<\/li>\n<li>And Finally!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Here are <u>3 questions<\/u>\u00a0for all of you in the Audience!<\/p>\n<p>How\u00a0do you think <em>\u201cyou\u201d <\/em>would feel or respond to your Doctor who told you that you have Alzheimer\u2019s Disease?<\/p>\n<p>Secondly, do you think you would share your new diagnosis with your friends and family?<\/p>\n<p>&amp; 3rdly, \u201cWhat would you do to help <u>yo<\/u><u>urself<\/u>?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I thank you all &#8211; for listening to my story! \u2026. and<\/p>\n<p><strong><em>May God bless each of you\u201d\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>in the ways that \u201cyou need\u201d<\/em><\/strong><strong><em>!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>ALZHEIMERS PRESENTATION \u2013 20 MAR 26<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Good morning.\u00a0 My name is Sel Wasson.\u00a0 Tobie and I have been together for 5 years.\u00a0 We had both noticed Tobie\u2019s increasing forgetfulness, so we decided to talk to her PCP, Dr Mike, to see if he had any thoughts or suggestions.\u00a0 Maybe there was some kind of test that would tell us something.\u00a0 He told us that there was a relatively new blood test that could tell us if Tobie had Alzheimer&#8217;s.\u00a0 I have only known a couple of people who had Alzheimer&#8217;s, but I was definitely aware of the potential changes in behavior and personality that could happen.\u00a0 So the thoughts going through my mind while we were awaiting the test results were not exactly comforting.<\/p>\n<p>About fourteen months ago, when Dr Mike said \u201cTobie, you have Alzheimer&#8217;s Disease,\u201d I felt a sinking feeling in my body.\u00a0 I was stunned!\u00a0 I had this mish mash of thoughts.\u00a0 How will I deal with it?\u00a0 How will my life change? Am I up to dealing with this?<\/p>\n<p>Then I realized I was only thinking of myself.\u00a0 My God!\u00a0 How will <strong>Tobie<\/strong>\u00a0deal with it?\u00a0 How will <strong>her<\/strong>\u00a0life change!?\u00a0 What can <strong>we <\/strong>do to make her life easier?\u00a0 Those were the most important questions!<\/p>\n<p>They <strong>are<\/strong>\u00a0important questions.\u00a0 They are <strong>real<\/strong>, and <strong>valid<\/strong>!\u00a0 But only time will reveal the answers.\u00a0 I told myself right then and there that there would be a joint effort to find those answers.<\/p>\n<p>Not surprisingly, there were tears.\u00a0 At first, for Tobie, they were strong and wailing.\u00a0 Not all the time.\u00a0 Every couple of days, then weekly.\u00a0 Then less frequently.\u00a0 It was totally expected and appropriate, but hearing it tore me up \u2013 every time!\u00a0 I would hold her tightly and tell her I loved her. But much of the time it ended up with two people in tears.\u00a0 I\u2019m happy to say that today the tears are a rare occurrence.<\/p>\n<p>Dr Mike started Tobie on Memantine, a medicine that has shown success in slowing the progression of Alzheimer&#8217;s symptoms.<\/p>\n<p>The challenges that I had thought about when I first learned of Tobie\u2019s diagnosis are real. I need to remember that asking \u201cDo you remember . . .\u201d\u00a0 is just a reminder to Tobie that she has a memory problem.\u00a0 So is correcting her when something she says is not accurate. Practicing patience is something we should all do. But with Tobie, it is especially important that I am patient and don\u2019t react when she gets frustrated and agitated, which usually happens later in the day.<\/p>\n<p>As to how Tobie deals with it, I am very proud to say that right from her diagnosis, she has maintained a very positive attitude.\u00a0 Tobie has been completely open about her Alzheimer&#8217;s and has endeavored to be involved in many activities that will have a positive effect on her quality of life.\u00a0 She has already shared many of them with you.<\/p>\n<p>As to how <strong>I<\/strong>\u00a0deal with our new reality, it is a work in progress, as it is with Tobie.\u00a0 I still forget to avoid the comments and questions that are reminders of her diagnosis \u2013 \u201cDo you remember, etc\u201d.\u00a0 I still want her to do things that she used to do but no longer can because she gets flustered and agitated doing them.\u00a0 Things like going to plays at Theatrikos, going to movies and large gatherings like concerts and First Friday Art Walk, things that are loud, are now too problematic for Tobie to do.\u00a0 I get upset, sometimes, because she is tired a lot of the time \u2013 in part due to side effects of some of her medications, and in part because she is so active &#8211;\u00a0 and therefore often doesn\u2019t feel like doing things she usually likes to do. But, we are working on it together, because we want our relationship to work.\u00a0 Because we love each other!<\/p>\n<p>Thank you for listening to our story!<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Editor&#8217;s Note:\u00a0 MSIA Minister Tobie Bardsley was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer&#8217;s.\u00a0 She was asked to speak at the Northern Arizona Alzheimer&#8217;s &amp; Dementia Alliance.\u00a0 She shared her speech with us, as well as the speech of her partner Sel Wasson, in case their\u00a0 story is of benefit to others. Alzheimers\u201d Group Presentation At NAU On [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":112856,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"set","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[266,267],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-112855","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-featured","category-health"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.msia.org\/newdayherald\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/112855","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.msia.org\/newdayherald\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.msia.org\/newdayherald\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.msia.org\/newdayherald\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.msia.org\/newdayherald\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=112855"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.msia.org\/newdayherald\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/112855\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.msia.org\/newdayherald\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/112856"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.msia.org\/newdayherald\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=112855"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.msia.org\/newdayherald\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=112855"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.msia.org\/newdayherald\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=112855"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}