{"id":15179,"date":"2015-03-16T12:50:50","date_gmt":"2015-03-16T19:50:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.msia.org\/newdayherald\/?p=15179"},"modified":"2018-08-28T10:36:38","modified_gmt":"2018-08-28T17:36:38","slug":"100-living-and-dying-with-j-r-an-interview-with-jsu-garcia","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.msia.org\/newdayherald\/archives\/15179-100-living-and-dying-with-j-r-an-interview-with-jsu-garcia","title":{"rendered":"100%: Living and Dying with J-R, An Interview with Jsu Garcia"},"content":{"rendered":" \u00a0 \n

(Jsu Garcia was John-Roger’s friend, personal assistant, bodyguard, driver, go-fer\u2014and anything else J-R wanted\u2014from 1988 – 2014)<\/strong><\/p>\n

NDH: So what\u2019s it like working for J-R?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Jsu: I worked for J-R for twenty-six years. It was unbelievable. There\u2019s nothing better. I think Michael Feder, who also worked for J-R once, said, \u201cIt doesn\u2019t get any better than this.\u201d<\/p>\n

It\u2019s been three months since I lost my best friend. I\u2019m also in love now. I fell in love with Nicole. So simultaneously I think, \u201cWow I\u2019m in love,\u201d and \u201cWow, I\u2019m grieving. I\u2019m in pain.\u201d I\u2019m working through all that as I go back and remember everything that happened with J-R.<\/p>\n

Probably the greatest thing was the Light Tour to Israel last September. We spent a whole month there. That was the most amazing trip. It was one of the most dynamic things I\u2019ve ever experienced. I don\u2019t know what it\u2019s like to be a Traveler who holds keys, but I do know what it\u2019s like when he gives you the baton. When J-R would give me the baton, it was being like Harry Potter. You can do anything. Sometimes I would even stretch to see how far I could go. For example, someone had their phone stolen on the Mount of Olives in Jerusalem. When I heard about it I was really upset. I thought, \u201cHow can they steal from my people?\u201d I thought of everyone on the trip as my flock. My attitude was, I\u2019m working for J-R, something happened to one of our people, I\u2019m going to get that phone back. And we got the phone back. I talked to an Arab guy who was the head of the area where kids were pickpocketing, and he really spanked them. And a couple of days later we were at his house for dinner, a beautiful place overlooking Jerusalem. Little miracles like that are what it\u2019s all about working with J-R. When you\u2019re prompted inwardly and you have this baton of light energy with you, it\u2019s amazing. You just know that you have a calling to do what you do, and you do a lot of listening inside.<\/p>\n

Everybody is different in MSIA, and in how they relate to J-R on the inner. So I\u2019m not special. I just did more time with J-R on the physical. I\u2019m proud of that, and I hope there\u2019s more I can do, but I have good self-esteem about the whole experience. J-R used to say to me, \u201cYou have a lot of vanity. You can turn that into valor.\u201d And I think I know what that is. I\u2019m still vain, but I don\u2019t need applause or a reward. I don\u2019t need to be in an MSIA Bible. The one thing that moves me is when someone says, \u201cThank you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Probably my favorite time was when it was just me and J-R. A lot of it was up at Windermere and at J-R\u2019s house nearby at Miracielo. We\u2019d be watching TV up there, or driving late at night, listening to these weird radio shows about UFO\u2019s, or Christian stations.<\/p>\n

We\u2019re talking in J-R\u2019s living room in Mandeville right now and you can sense the energy, even though he\u2019s missing. The energy is in the couch, it\u2019s in the walls, it\u2019s a vortex here in this house. When he was alive, no matter how slow he became, he was just a bubble of love, an energy of love, a source of love. It was as though all universes went in and out of him. When you walked into the house, you would peek through the kitchen and into the living room and think, \u201cWow, I\u2019m so glad to be home.\u201d All your karma or whatever crap you were going through would just go away, because he\u2019s just pure love.<\/p>\n

NDH: I always had that sense that he could just eat whatever karma was there.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Jsu: He didn\u2019t say, \u201cCome here, let me get that off you.\u201d It was just an automatic thing that would happen around him. Sometimes J-R would just touch you somewhere and all of a sudden it would lift you.<\/p>\n

People in the house like Nat and me would work with him. We didn\u2019t know we were doing it, because if you knew you were doing it you\u2019d blow it. But J-R would use you as a battery. And whoever came over, we just would \u201ceat\u201d whatever was going on with that person, along with J-R. But we didn\u2019t know it, we just knew that the next day we would wake up with a hangover, or we\u2019d start fighting\u2014and that\u2019s usually somebody else\u2019s stuff.<\/p>\n

And you learn so much with J-R\u2014you\u2019re forced to learn a lot. He used everything for greater learning, and he used things inside of me for my greater learning. I learned tracking in the DSS, and there is nothing better than tracking. If you\u2019re not doing tracking, you\u2019re being unconscious. You say, \u201cI saw that. I saw that three minutes ago. OK I\u2019ll watch that. I ate this soup and got a bellyache.\u201d Or, \u201cWhy do I feel so crappy? Oh, I just got a phone call and it happened after that. OK, clear.\u201d<\/p>\n

When it comes down to it, it looked like we were taking care of J-R but he was taking care of us. He was holding my karma and Nat\u2019s karma with a protective shield so we could do the work.<\/p>\n

NDH: When you say you learned a lot, was it things he said verbally, or was it inwardly?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Jsu: It was more inward. I\u2019d get a lot of pictures inside. He didn\u2019t sit down and discourse to you. Maybe that happened a few times, but 99% of the time it was inner. You\u2019d say, \u201cI want to put this in the Light, I\u2019d like to go to Israel, Hamas is bombing, blah blah blah, and I need Light.\u201d He\u2019d say, \u201cWe\u2019re going. It\u2019s going to happen,\u201d and you\u2019d get these things in your head about what you needed to do. I\u2019d call someone I knew who had information, I downloaded an app that told me how many rockets were being fired in Gaza, I\u2019d be watching the news, and I\u2019d be getting information on the inner from J-R. You let J-R do the inner, and you focus on the outer to make sure it\u2019s safe on the physical. J-R would make sure it was safe spiritually. I got a lot of information in dreams. J-R called me a \u201cdream prophet\u201d because I could remember things from dreams and spirit would warn me about things in the future. It was never something huge or tsunami-like, but more about my own process. Spirit would warn me about something and I\u2019d write it down. It was more about me, and J-R, and Nat, and our process. We\u2019d come together and it was like, \u201cI had this dream. Did you have this dream?\u201d \u201cYeah.\u201d \u201cOK then we\u2019ve gotta watch it.\u201d J-R would listen to what I had to say, and I\u2019d cross-reference it with Nat, and I knew I was right on a lot of the time, because J-R was telling me.<\/p>\n

One time we were getting ready to head out of town with J-R and we were all ready to go somewhere. J-R kept telling me \u201cno\u201d and I kept getting ready. You have to understand that a lot of the time J-R would change, and so you\u2019d have to be ready and act \u201cas if\u201d (\u201cas if\u201d the plan was on). I said, \u201cNat, get everything ready, let\u2019s go,\u201d we rolled out, we got to the airport curb and J-R said, \u201cI said \u2018no.\u2019\u201d And then you think, \u201cOK, that was real,\u201d and you cancel the trip. That was J-R when he was older and healthy. But even when he was younger he would do that. Once there was an India trip set up, four or five of us were ready to go, and at the last minute J-R cancelled it.<\/p>\n

Last year, we knew that J-R was getting weaker. Even when he was not feeling well, and we didn\u2019t know if he was going to make it to Israel, he was still so strong. He would always open up the door for the nurses, which was astonishing to me.<\/p>\n

I would go up to him and say, \u201cI really want this Israel trip. Can you give me this?\u201d And he would say, \u201cYeah, I can see you want it.\u201d I always checked in with him to see if it was clear. If you ask what\u2019s the best part of working with J-R, it was that\u2014my private moments with him asking about what\u2019s clear and not clear to do.<\/p>\n

When I got a clearing from J-R, I went for it, I didn\u2019t stop. If he changed his mind when I was halfway through it, I would stop. J-R would always test to see how disciplined and flexible you were\u2014not as a slave or anything like that, but he would see if you could move with him when he said, \u201cStop.\u201d Sometimes I would argue my point and then I would stop. He would say something and give you a certain look, and you would know that he really means it.<\/p>\n

J-R told me that living with him was like \u201csleeping at the edge of a volcano.\u201d When you get burnt enough, you\u2019re just tough. The burning is experience, and experience is how to maneuver around the volcano. You learn not to go that way because it hurts, so you think, \u201cI won\u2019t do that again. That burns.\u201d One thing that he was very strict about is that when he was doing emails you would have to stand by the door and wait until he addressed you. If you barged into the room interrupting him, you would get another 10 pounds of karma. Not by hitting or yelling or anything like that, but it was the energy behind it. It was just, \u201cI told you not to do that,\u201d and the authority behind it is what gave it force.<\/p>\n

Actually when J-R yelled we would always crack up. I\u2019ve never had him yell at me where I wasn\u2019t laughing. And it always rode on love. He would yell, \u201cHEY!!!\u201d at seminars and all the crap would leave you. It was always about what he said with his eyes, and the words were just a small part of it.<\/p>\n

Also J-R had caretakers that would come in when he was far away working out of the body. I liked the \u201cold man.\u201d I met him when we were traveling in Israel, and then when I moved into J-R\u2019s house I recognized him. It was like, \u201cThere\u2019s that old man again.\u201d There was an American Indian, a Japanese guy, and others. His cadence would change and sometimes they\u2019d be unfamiliar with what was going on. They sometimes didn\u2019t know where we were, or would ask, \u201cWho are you?\u201d Nat and I would be cracking up. The old man was my favorite\u2026and there was also some Biblical guy that would come down. Sometimes he\u2019d want to eat but didn\u2019t know what the food was, or would ask, \u201cWhat is that, water?\u201d Then that person would go to bed and J-R would wake up as himself and say, \u201cWhat\u2019s going on? Let\u2019s go eat.\u201d Then you could tell that J-R was back.<\/p>\n

Daniel was J-R\u2019s basic self. Daniel didn\u2019t like me sometimes because I was very pushy, and Daniel wanted whatever he wanted. You would know Daniel was there because Daniel was tough. If he wanted something you\u2019d better get him what he wanted.<\/p>\n

Some people would treat J-R delicately and say, \u201cOh I don\u2019t want to disturb J-R.\u201d I did want to disturb him because I felt that the more I got his attention the more J-R was physically here.\u00a0 I would read to him and do emails with him. Sometimes when I asked him about something he\u2019d say, \u201cYou decide.\u201d There\u2019s an authority that comes with that, like when he gave staff the authority to do initiations and ordinations. And you feel the baton being passed to you. It was magical being around him, and magical things would happen just by working around him.<\/p>\n

When he was young J-R was a dancer and an actor. And that\u2019s what I am. I always saw J-R as an artist, someone creative. That\u2019s what set him apart. He knew art, acting, and theater, and then he became a cop, then an insurance investigator, he worked in a psychiatric ward, studied psychology, then he was a teacher, and then a Traveler. He wasn\u2019t born into anything, like being born into the family business. I think he did it all.<\/p>\n

NDH: It seems like the way he guided you was very inner and very non-inflictive. He would give you the inner guidance, and when he actually said something outwardly it was to get you back in line if you got too far off. Other than that, you would go on your own, with the inner guidance, as long as you weren\u2019t going too far off course. <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Jsu: Right. In 2007 I did the \u201cSpiritual Warriors\u201d tour. The further I got away from J-R physically, the stronger he was inside me. I couldn\u2019t believe it. It was like, he\u2019s telling me what to do everywhere I go. It was John-Roger in HD. And then when I get home, it shuts off. And then it\u2019s, \u201cGo take the trash out. Go do this, go get me that.\u201d It\u2019s a different world.<\/p>\n

People don\u2019t necessarily understand that often the further you are from J-R physically, the stronger you are, and often the stronger the inner relationship. Being around him the feedback was instantaneous, that\u2019s the big difference. But I was in Peru with people who\u2019d never met him physically who act like me and have the same experiences that I have. That blows me away. The Traveler is in everyone equally, and it\u2019s powerful in everyone. I don\u2019t understand any of that; I only understand the bubble that I\u2019m living in, and I wouldn\u2019t want to change it.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s very different now that he\u2019s gone. I do miss the physical form. I\u2019m all about the form. When people talk about the formless, for me that\u2019s a load of crap. When you have a living master in the living room, it\u2019s damn good.<\/p>\n

NDH: How do you stay grounded? My experience being at Mandeville with J-R is I\u2019m being pulled out into all these other levels. <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Jsu: It\u2019s hard-core at Mandeville. You have no time. It\u2019s not a nine-to-five job. There are days when you have maybe three hours of sleep. You go to sleep at 3:00 am and wake up at 6:00. There\u2019s no time to be spaced out. It\u2019s beyond boot camp. I loved it. Now I wake up in the mornings and I sleep in and it\u2019s crazy. There was no sleeping in back then. When you finally get to go to bed, you\u2019re really done, and you feel like you\u2019re done. You\u2019re begging God, \u201cWhat else?\u201d And then you get more juice. J-R gives you juice. And J-R was basically the opposite of the black hole\u2026he was the white hole of \u201cPreceptor awesomeness energy.\u201d You\u2019re like an electric car that gets plugged into the wall. You can go all day. I think I went 72 hours once, and it was insane. I was hallucinating at that point. After 36 hours you\u2019re hearing things. You\u2019re like a radio, hearing noises of the universe, and everybody\u2019s happiness and sorrows.<\/p>\n

And there were sweet spots\u2014doing S.E.\u2019s with J-R or watching TV with him. That was one of my favorite things to do.<\/p>\n

NDH: Was it different when you were traveling?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Jsu: When you come back from a trip the energy moves. That baton that J-R gave you of total responsibility is enormous and awesome, and when you come back it\u2019s gone. You\u2019re like, \u201cDarn.\u201d Then you just go about your business, or just flake out for a short time. Maybe you watch a movie, go for a run. When you\u2019re traveling, it\u2019s like putting on an iron man suit or a batman suit, but it\u2019s even better than that. You put it on and you can see and do everything, and you\u2019re aware of everything. Then when you come back from a trip you have to turn in the suit because it has to go to another staff member. And then you\u2019re back to your normal karma, and you have to deal. It can\u2019t be sweet like that all the time. But it\u2019s given to you like that when you\u2019re leading a group and you\u2019re taking care of J-R.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m an egomaniac. I enjoyed taking care of J-R and taking care of the group, and Israel is my territory. I knew it and I went after it. It was like a bookend for J-R\u2019s life. It was his 80th birthday, an amazing trip all the way. The Rabbi at the hotel (who we talked to in order to make sure we were in alignment with Jewish law during the holidays) could see that we were there to serve J-R and to serve God. He said he could see it in my eyes.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know how long grieving lasts. I don\u2019t know if you ever really get over a loss like that. I lost my grandmother and J-R in one year. It\u2019s funny, I didn\u2019t cry for my grandmother, and I didn\u2019t cry for J-R for a while, but now it\u2019s February and it\u2019s happening. I was responsible for his body and making sure that everything went the way he wanted. I was a good soldier and Nat was too. And now it\u2019s grieving\u2026so what do we do? It\u2019s not business-as-usual for me, and I don\u2019t think it is for anyone. USM has helped me a lot in dealing with it.<\/p>\n

The other day it really hit me. I was like, \u201cWow, J-R\u2019s gone. Will I be able to see him again?\u201d When I die I want to hook up with J-R wherever he\u2019s at. What hotel room is he in, in heaven? How the heck am I going to contact him? But I\u2019ve got his cell phone number so I\u2019ll get him.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve never lost anybody like this. I don\u2019t know anything except that I have to stay true to myself, and all I get is \u201cnothing\u201d. Do nothing. I haven\u2019t had any inspirational pictures and thoughts that J-R would normally give me. But what I do get is that J-R has also said: When you\u2019re looking for an answer and you\u2019re really desperate, often the answer is, \u201cNothing.\u201d A non-answer is an answer.<\/p>\n

NDH: The way I experience it is that when I push for an answer it doesn\u2019t come. It comes when I let go of the pushing.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Jsu: Someone told me, \u201cYou have to cry your tears.\u201d I don\u2019t think I\u2019ll ever really cry enough of these tears. It\u2019s deep. It\u2019s weird, because it\u2019s been 26 years of living here, the physical J-R is seared into my brain, so there\u2019s a feeling like he could walk in at any moment, or I have to go drive him. I might be a mental case before you know it. But I\u2019m living in a bubble, and no one can know what that\u2019s like or judge it\u2014and I\u2019d do it again a million times over. Wherever J-R goes or gets reincarnated, I\u2019m going, because I found the guy I want to be with, and that I got to be with.<\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t just me who lost J-R. About five thousand people also lost J-R, or maybe a hundred thousand, and they\u2019re dreaming of J-R. John\u2019s the Traveler now and it\u2019s important to support him, and it\u2019s also important to grieve, and that doesn\u2019t take away anything from John. No one\u2019s getting away from this. It was big. It was a big person that we lost.<\/p>\n

NDH: The way I see it is that the grieving process is going to go on\u2014either with you or without you. If it goes on without you it becomes unconscious. It\u2019s like anything else in life\u2014you can either participate in it or not, but it\u2019s going to go on anyway. <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Jsu: I listen very closely and I try to mimic exactly what J-R taught me all those years. That\u2019s to strengthen my inner core, my true self. I get J-R inside, but outside I don\u2019t get anything yet. My practical treatise in the DSS was about completing at least three things every day. And that\u2019s what I do.<\/p>\n

NDH: In spite of all that I feel J-R\u2019s presence so strongly. <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Jsu: I recently went to Florida for a funeral and I couldn\u2019t wait to get back here. The energy at Mandeville is premium, it\u2019s the source\u2014as are other MSIA properties\u2014Prana, Prana West, the Briggs House and 2101 Wilshire, Windermere, Arrowhead. Whatever J-R touched has premium energy in it. This thing flows in and out and through everyone and everything.<\/p>\n

NDH: So it sounds like you\u2019re in a good place.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Jsu: As long as I follow my true self I\u2019m in a great place. If I try to make someone else happy or get approval or go into a panic or feel lack, it just opens up negativity and then you\u2019re lost. I feel pretty strong inside. But I definitely feel the loss of J-R. It\u2019s like somebody slammed a giant sword through your chest and it\u2019s not healing yet. It\u2019s pretty raw. It\u2019s hard to believe it\u2019s been three months. I\u2019ve had people tell me, \u201cOh, when J-R went I felt it but I\u2019m back to work now and everything\u2019s OK.\u201d For me, it\u2019s like I hit a brick wall. I\u2019m not in a rush and I\u2019m taking care of myself. It\u2019s bizarre being able to sleep in the mornings. The first couple of weeks I was like, \u201cWait a minute, J-R needs me. I think he\u2019s up.\u201d And people would call and ask, \u201cHey man, do you want to go out?\u201d and I\u2019d be like, \u201cWait a minute, let me check with J-R.\u201d That\u2019s what I had in my repertoire. Now I don\u2019t have to check with J-R, but I check inside.<\/p>\n

NDH: Because I wasn\u2019t physically close to J-R like you were, there\u2019s not a grieving in my basic self. But the loss for me is the energy outside of me. So my body and my basic self are OK, but in my consciousness the world is different. For you, your immediate surroundings are different, and inside of you is different. For me, J-R wasn\u2019t tied to the basic self like that, but he was always around me in the world, and now it\u2019s like he\u2019s not around me in the world the way he was. So if I go \u201cout\u201d and focus on the outer world, I can feel that loss. So it encourages me to go inside more. <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Jsu: For me I\u2019d have to live on the moon to not have that outer association. Everything reminds me of J-R in the outer. It\u2019s kind of like PTSD. You wake up with nightmares and sweating, horrible things. It felt like someone blew up something in a terrorist attack, and I\u2019m looking for my legs, going around dazed. It\u2019s deep in everybody. Definitely having friends and loved ones with you helps. I think J-R talked about how he buried his Mom or his Dad and then went back and did a seminar. That\u2019s unbelievable.<\/p>\n

I love looking at J-R photos and memorabilia, and that ties me back into the energy and comforts me. They anchor me and make me feel great. But something that\u2019s written, like the newspaper obituaries, still bothers me. Seeing a newspaper clipping that says, \u201cJohn-Roger, spiritual teacher, dead at 80,\u201d gets me really bad.<\/p>\n

NDH: That outer \u201ctruth\u201d that\u2019s in the newspapers has an unreality to it because he didn\u2019t really die. So reading it is like hooking into a false belief. <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Jsu: My basic self is definitely traumatized. But I never think of anything as separate form me, or the basic self as separate from me. I don\u2019t like saying that the basic self is upset and I\u2019m not. It\u2019s all me. But I loved caring for him. It was therapeutic for me. I always said I wish we could love others the way I loved J-R. I haven\u2019t always been nice to people. And I apologize for that. There\u2019s no excuse. And it was very hard to be taking care of J-R and you\u2019re up all night, not sleeping much. So you get up the next\u00a0 morning and you\u2019re cranky. There have been some casualties along the way with people\u2019s hurt feelings. But I\u2019m hoping that we can move on.<\/p>\n

NDH: It sounds like you were also in the role of being the bad cop sometimes. <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Jsu: And I loved being his bodyguard. That\u2019s the way you roll. I don\u2019t apologize for anything I did with J-R. But as far as my approach with other people, I do apologize if I\u2019ve hurt their feelings. I would never say, \u201cOh, J-R made me do that.\u201d I did it. I think that\u2019s what J-R loved about me. I didn\u2019t cop out. I took responsibility for it, and I don\u2019t mind taking responsibility for it here. Like he always said, \u201cChew fast, and start eating now.\u201d<\/p>\n

NDH: Is the way you tune into him inwardly different now?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Jsu: The death and the memorial and that whole process were a lot of logistical distractions. Now I\u2019m back tuning into him more. My lessons are all there. I keep repeating to Nicole all the things that he said to me. She\u2019s a sounding board for me. And I\u2019ve got a million \u201cJ-R said\u201d stories that I tell myself.<\/p>\n

The dreams are what I care about the most. They went away when J-R died. Now they\u2019re coming back. Some are karmic; there are different levels. If I\u2019m a reflection of everyone else and everyone is a reflection of me, then there is a lot of work being done on the inner after J-R died. I feel that he went to another galaxy and for a little bit of time he wasn\u2019t around. And then he comes around now. You still feel the purple and see the purple. You go to John\u2019s seminars and you can feel the Traveler. What I recognize as \u201cJ-R,\u201d sometimes I didn\u2019t experience right after he died. I checked people comments on Facebook to see what everyone else was feeling. People seem to be having a lot of inner experiences but the outer \u201cbubble\u201d is not in the world. On the inner I\u2019ve been having great dreams more recently. And just because we\u2019re not having conscious dreams, it doesn\u2019t mean anything. There\u2019s a karmic flow and you\u2019ve got to sit in it and wait to come up for air. There\u2019s something going on in the inner, and if you look at the news you can almost guess that maybe we\u2019re all being used.<\/p>\n

When J-R first died I thought he took a piece of everybody with him, and that would be the bridge that sits on the shoulders of Christ. At first Nicole and I were walking dazed. At other times I feel like I\u2019m dead and nobody\u2019s told me. And maybe everybody\u2019s dead in the world and nobody\u2019s told us. The inner can be disturbing but I\u2019ve had some great dreams, and some really peaceful dreams. I remember John saying that we\u2019re all looking for the visitation, for the John-Roger visitation.<\/p>\n

Knowing J-R, I know that J-R is going to take care of everybody else because that\u2019s what he\u2019s got to do, and I\u2019m strong enough to hold and wait. And that\u2019s what I\u2019m doing.<\/p>\n

I have a really nice connection with him on the inner but I love dreams too. It\u2019s been a weird time. It\u2019s nice having time to dream now.<\/p>\n

NDH: I know that J-R said that Jesus built a bridge into the other levels. I feel like J-R built a few more lanes on the bridge so we can go back and forth a lot more easily and contact him more easily.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Jsu: I agree with you. J-R has used all of us to make golden super-highway bridges, to make them wider. We\u2019re on the shoulders of Christ, and the previous Travelers. For me, something big happened on the inner. And whatever was predicted to happen in the world, I think J-R\u2019s helping to prevent it, and we\u2019re all working it along with him. Maybe he took off so he can prevent some things. Babies are still being born, there\u2019s work to be done. It\u2019s important to preserve J-R\u2019s teachings and to make them available. We have to look at what that\u2019s going to look like in terms of today\u2019s platforms. Facebook has been really nice to express in. I\u2019m still looking at what I\u2019m going to do. And it\u2019s nice to help others who are worse-off and put my attention on them and help them, like a family member who passed away. I don\u2019t know what to do except to keep busy and don\u2019t just do nothing. And I\u2019m also following love, looking for where love is going to lead me.<\/p>\n

And I\u2019ve been 26 years without a woman. It\u2019s an interesting thing, being in a relationship now. Before J-R passed away I thought this would be a bleak time for me. It was dark inside of me when I tried to anticipate it. But now that it\u2019s happened, along with a new relationship, it\u2019s been a blessing, and whatever J-R did to set this up was amazing. It was a gift, and it really gave me life, because I really didn\u2019t want to be here if J-R left. I thought it would be a dark time, but now I know that I can handle it. \u201cDark\u201d isn\u2019t evil, it\u2019s, \u201cDamn, my friend\u2019s not in the living room.\u201d You have to think, \u201cWhat will I do now?\u201d So you think, \u201cOK, I\u2019ll chat with my girlfriend. Or chat with my friends.\u201d But I do love being alone with J-R and having conversations with him.<\/p>\n

When you have J-R in you, he\u2019s like looking through your eyes, entertained. I would feel like the Holy Spirit was next to me in companionship, watching a movie together, like we always used to do. That would be a better way to describe it. I had some dream experiences, a really nice inner connection, but on the outer I have a lot of comfort. I feel like the Traveler is in me, sitting next to me, enjoying hanging out. I know people have had this experience, where you can feel J-R looking through your eyes. And you think, \u201cWho\u2019s looking through me?\u201d And that\u2019s what it\u2019s like here, watching TV or doing anything, and you can feel that someone is watching you, or watching through you.<\/p>\n

I had a great dream the other day. I\u2019m naked driving in a car. (To me, being naked means that I\u2019m open.) I call J-R and I ask if he\u2019s hungry. He says, \u201cYeah, come and pick me up.\u201d And then he says, \u201cDon\u2019t worry about dying, you\u2019ve died many times without me there.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(Jsu Garcia was John-Roger’s friend, personal assistant, bodyguard, driver, go-fer\u2014and anything else J-R wanted\u2014from 1988 – 2014) NDH: So what\u2019s it like working for J-R? Jsu: I worked for J-R for twenty-six years. It was unbelievable. There\u2019s nothing better. I think Michael Feder, who also worked for J-R once, said, \u201cIt doesn\u2019t get any better […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":47,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[257,110],"tags":[3466,87,322,3269],"class_list":["post-15179","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ndh-archives","category-service","tag-interviews","tag-john-roger","tag-jsu-garcia","tag-the-love-of-a-master"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.msia.org\/newdayherald\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15179","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.msia.org\/newdayherald\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.msia.org\/newdayherald\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.msia.org\/newdayherald\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/47"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.msia.org\/newdayherald\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15179"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.msia.org\/newdayherald\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15179\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.msia.org\/newdayherald\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15179"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.msia.org\/newdayherald\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15179"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.msia.org\/newdayherald\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15179"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}