A very powerful last day of sharing. We’re fine-tuning the mix of in-the-body and out-of-the-body just right, as Jsu creates music and dance breaks through the day when the energy gets too fixed. They’re brief and fun, just enough so the levels stay integrated while still keeping the focus directed upward.

The group holds for each sharer in a very touching way. We’re getting good at this. After 30 or 40 years of trips we’re really getting it down. There’s a oneness in the group, a sweetness, almost no cliquishness or spoiledness or demands. We did a GREAT job this time, and everybody knows it. Thanks to all who put it together, especially Jsu who held his vision in the dark when there seemed to be no chance of it happening, and who went on anyway and held close to J-R’s intention and guidance that brought us all along on this impossible journey.

I love the freedom we have. There’s a birthday cake for J-R with mini-fireworks on it, and the whole event sort of fizzles, with the fireworks going out before they reach the stage, and Jsu doesn’t miss a beat. He just says, “Well that was weird,” and moves on. No embarrassment, no expectations, no regret, no trying to make the moment anything except what it is, just acknowledgment and enjoyment and moving on.

The ending is very high, very moving, and brings us into an even greater sense of oneness. John does a beautiful closing blessing that brings in an energy that I can only describe as the Christ. If you’ve ever been to Living in Grace, it reminds me of what comes in on the last night. The room fills up. J-R’s energy is here. Benji tells us about J-R’s caring for his family, about his recent trials with the passing of his wife and the assistance he’s had from our spiritual family. He ends by telling us about a dream he had recently about an old man who was gathering small stones at the beach, taking them home and polishing them into gems, and then putting holes in them to make them into a necklace, and he realizes that those stones are the people that J-R has transformed in all the years that we’ve been traveling and learning together.

Then at the end Delile spontaneously takes the microphone and tells us stories about growing up with J-R when they were children, and it fills the room with a loving innocence and intimacy. Delile’s cadences and speech patterns have a similarity to J-R’s so we have a physical presence that matches the energy. When we break for the last time you can tell that no one wants to leave. Everybody just sort of hangs out, finding one way or another to avoid going out the door. A lot of radiant faces.

The next day, resting at the hotel, the energy starts to lift, and I sense it with a feeling of relief because the body can only take so much. It’s like I was emptied out during the touring and then filled with a kind of ecstatic high-voltage for three days, both a person and an impersonal ray of light conducted through the body, and that level of energy becomes wearing after a while. It’s nice to feel fleshy and warm and filled with my funny little animalistic emotions once again, and to be able to rest better with less voltage going through me. I almost wonder if I’m going to start growing fur and a tail and find myself in some little burrow by a stream, but I know it’s just the awareness of my body returning after three days traveling at the speed of light.

I talk to Jsu about it and he’s having the same experience. We know that after a few days this relaxation will get boring and, if we allow, it will start feeling like depression, and we’ll start looking again for the next level up. We’ll be staying in Israel for a while longer, so it will be interesting to see what we find.

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