Question: How can I learn not to take things personally?

Answer: Taking things too personally is an addiction, and it’s fairly common. However, it’s very destructive because it lowers ourself. As we learn to let go of our small personal petty points of view, we become larger in who we are. We become more fully present in ourselves as we let things go immediately rather than be bothered by something that didn’t go the way we wanted.

Every day of my life things didn’t go the way that I wanted them to. So some kind of mercy happened to me such that I realized it was important to accept things for what they are, to have trust that something’s going on beyond what I know.

I ask myself, “Who am I to judge? Who am I to say, ‘God, you’re making a big mistake and you better do what I want.’” Who am I to tell God that I know better than God?

That attitude is one of judgment and criticism, assuming I know better than what God’s doing here and I’m going to take things into my own hands and make it right myself. Every time I’ve done something like that, it’s like the pride that goes before the fall. It often hurt. It was miserable and didn’t worked. What’s worked has been to do the best I can to determine what is going on and cooperate with it. And what’s going on has always been more than what anyone is doing.

I haven’t seen anybody who’s in control here. God is in control. Fully participating in what God is doing is cooperating. When we cooperate, good things happen. Greater good things happen. Happy things happen. When things go better, it is easier to feel better. It is a whole lot about learning to accept and cooperate with the way things are. When we do, we can better take what God is doing personally.

Baruch Bashan