New Day Herald

Loving Communication

This article by John-Roger, DSS, was first published in the Movement Newspaper – Volume 11, Issue 9, 1986.
When we are communicating to others we have the responsibility of getting that information across to them so that they understand it from their perspective. Communicating to people involves a responsibility which is sometimes difficult. That is to have them get the information back to you, so you know that they received it. That completes the cycle of communication. Whatever they decide to do with the information is their decision. However, that you got it to them clearly and they repeated it clearly, completes the cycle of communication.

We have a responsibility and an accountability to the process of communication. If we don’t accept that responsibility, it might be better to keep quiet. We lose an awful lot of personal energy by verbalizing. Then if we put negativity on that information, we lose even more of our energy. The more you bad-mouth somebody or something, the more you fall. Conversely, the more we can say nice things about others and put it in a positive context, the more we lift ourselves (whether they go up or not). Your communication to others becomes an important responsibility to yourself. Service to yourself can begin on the verbal level.

Often in relationships we haven’t created the space for safe communication. It’s important to take the time inside of ourselves to create an environment that allows others to express anything without us running it back at them in a negative way. If it isn’t all right for us to talk to each other, what right do we have to be together? Create the space for your children to come to you and for your spouse, or your lover to communicate with you. If you’re a boss, create the space where your employees can come to you with the slightest little complaint and you don’t get irritated with them for sharing. You have a right to create a safe space and you have to develop the ability to do it. Developing the ability to communicate from a loving space means you must have the situations appear that help you create it.

We have to communicate with ourselves effectively. That means putting in motion, inside of us, that communication, where for each thought, we get a feeling that matches. And we can move on it physically. Or if we get a feeling we get a thought that matches and we can complete it physically. If we can’t complete it physically, we just hold it aside. Sometimes we get a new idea, and it looks strange and you say that it doesn’t fit anywhere. But three days later here comes another idea that fits.

Make it all right to communicate with all parts of yourself. Don’t make parts of you wrong and throw them away. Instead transfer them and transform them into a right place. Rather than having to deal with a missing part, why not put the whole puzzle together and deal with the whole? So in the picture, if a piece looks dark, don’t judge it negatively. In the puzzle it may be the part of the sky that is dark at midnight. It fits there and that’s fine.

These dark spots may be your adversity and God bless your adversity. It will strengthen you like you may not believe. Then when the real tribulations come, you’ve already been tested and tried through your own tribulations and faults. It is going to take a lot of standing up and communicating this to others to assist this planet. It can begin with us.

We can treat the loving space in others with great care. Let’s keep them safe by being tender, loving, and not abusing them. Maybe that place isn’t as strong in others as you might think it should be. Turn on the light of your loving for others so they feel safe to communicate anything to you.

Baruch Bashan,
John-Roger, DSS

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