Question: What are Some Keys to Friendship?

Answer: You can be friendly with a lot of people, but a friend is somebody who puts their life towards you and has a willingness to exchange their life and put their life on the line for you in a big way. How many people can you really do that for, where you’re that available to them?

I suppose you could endeavor to be that way towards all people, so you just befriend the one you’re with somehow. That’s a good policy, because the nature that I relate to as a friend is the Christ. I consider the One who comes forward in that energy as exemplifying a friend, and those who are akin of that. So anyone who is a friend of the Christ is also a friend. If you uphold that nature of the Christ, you are going to tend to attract those that uphold that nature to you.

It’s important that you learn that you walk with your true friend, the Lord, always. You walk with that One. That One walks with you in the Spirit. That’s actually more real than in the body. So all that’s missing is your awareness of that eternal friendship.

As you come to know that enduring friendship, you come to realize it’s always present. So learn how to be in touch with that companionship that is of the Spirit, the Holy Spirit — the One who walks with you, sits with you and lies down with you. That One is always with you and never abandons you.When we look for a friend, we’re really looking for someone who doesn’t abandon us, doesn’t betray us, doesn’t lie, deceive or go against us. Those are qualities that are very difficult to uphold in the flesh because to be human is to in some way falter. In the story of Jesus, there were points where He was on his knees. There was a sense of faltering in the flesh, in the human aspect of who Jesus was. But the story also tells us that the One that was in the Spirit, that was of the Father, never faltered.

If you don’t demand that perfection from other people in order for them to gain your friendship, if you’re willing to give your friendship just because that’s who you are, and so it’s not placing any demand upon them, then you’ll tend to find the ones who can handle that. The One who can handle that always comes forward.

I wouldn’t be in a hurry to seek out friendships if they’re not occurring in your natural experience. I’d be careful of judging that something is wrong. It can just simply be, “Oh, they’re of a different feather. We don’t quite see eye to eye. We have different values.” So you may experience a sense of separation and alienation from them more than you do with those who share your perspectives or ideas.

As children, we had openness and innocence where we let ourselves out more fully than we do as adults. Looking back, we can see that was a real secret of friendship. We gave ourselves to the relationship, and we let ourselves be open and vulnerable in those relationships. We were the ones who created the closeness, and we are the ones who can create that closeness now.

Jesus said, “I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you” (John 15:15). As we come into the consciousness that is anointed of the Spirit, we can love one another as friends. As I shared in You Are the Blessings, that entails being more willing to extend myself, to look at people in the eyes, to be willing to touch people like I would a friend.

There is a caring exchanged between friends, those who are related in the heart where we live in truth. We live in the joy and caring that is our natural way of being, that is the way of the Lord. As you learn how to uphold your friendship with the Lord, so that you’re aware that divine friendship is always with you, there’s never a sense of being alone. It’s always a sense of being with your Beloved. Then whenever someone is gathered with you in the name of the Lord, they too are your beloved friend.

Baruch Bashan