I first met John-Roger on the inner. I didn’t know it was John-Roger until about 2 years later, in late 1984.

Before that, at some point, I can’t pinpoint when, I had started seeing purple when I closed my eyes at night as I went to bed. Seeing purple was kinda cool I suppose, but it was that most loving, loving, intimate, comforting accompanying feeling that was so precious, like having your best friend enveloping you all over with healing love and energy.

This came during a somewhat difficult several years. I had got to where I would look forward to going to bed at night so I could experience this.

It was special, yet in a strange way, it seemed so ordinary and private it didn’t occur to me to tell anyone about it, not even my husband who was someone I could share almost anything with. For a long time I forgot about it the following day. But as time went on I got to where I would think about it sometimes during the day, again, in a strangely private, ordinary way – until nighttime came and I was carried away.

I recall a time when it came to more conscious awareness, on a particularly challenging day when it seemed to my, at the time, young self that I just couldn’t endure much more. But then I found myself aware I was wishing it were bedtime so I could be with that special feeling. Huh? I then thought. It’s almost like I had to acknowledge to myself there was something particular going on. Still, it was so inner and private I never thought to discuss it outwardly or to attempt to analyze it. I just started looking forward to nighttime even more. (Well, J-R used to say: “We’re a fly-by-night organization.”)

On another very ordinary day in 1983, I went for the first time to see a body worker, someone who did a combination of acupressure and other body work. While on the “table” I started seeing purple everywhere! This was not subtle or ordinary, something obvious was happening. I also became high as a kite. Really high and full of enthusiasm and excited energy. I was almost whooping for joy out loud! It was like I was drunk – and of course, I was – with the Traveler and Spirit.

I knew I wanted to be involved with whatever this was, that this was the thing I’d been looking for.

I continued to see this body worker several times a month, but she would not talk about Spirit, she was strictly “professional”, but I knew she must be into some kind of spiritual practice. (I had studied spiritual approaches on and off since I was 14 years so I could recognize it. In those days in conservative communities people wouldn’t readily discuss woo-woo or spiritual matters.)

She was an initiate, of course. It took me a long time to get all the info out of her, but eventually she told me about John-Roger. Meanwhile, I continued to have my beloved nights, more precious to me than being with a lover.

When she ‘fessed up, she gave me the old “Coming Home” brochure. I love that brochure to this day.
It spells out everything about MSIA and J-R’s teachings so succinctly, completely, clearly – with beautiful tenderness.

While reading this overview of the Traveler’s teachings, I came across a passage that gave me chills. It went something like (I’m paraphrasing): “As you begin your study with the Mystical Traveler Consciousness you may find new experiences begin to take place. You may find you will start seeing purple. This can be an indication of the Traveler’s presence….” Well, I guess so! I must have been moved to tears of joy!

l didn’t meet J-R in person for a long time – and you know, I wasn’t in a hurry – it was so present (presence), up close and personal inside of me.

I went on Discourses, of course, and readily participated in the many ways offered to experience the teachings, sometimes gobbling them up like an excited dog lapping up food out of his dish; other times slowly savoring the next book, seminar, technique, workshop, etc.

When I eventually met J-R up close and personal physically – about a year and a half later in July 1986 (when I was starting Discourse #13) – it was at LAX airport. I was leaving on a PAT IV trip.

Being around J-R physically and inwardly for one month – oh my God – so much to be grateful for.

Twenty-eight years on — ever more to be grateful for — fathomless. Grateful forever, Beloved. God bless you, I love you so. Thank you so much.