This article by John-Roger was originally published in the publication “Your Personal Best” Vol. 2 October, 1990

“Don’t Settle For Somebody Else’s Best!”

When I’m asked, “What’s your personal best?”  I don’t think of a particular event or accomplishment in my life.  I don’t reminisce about a time I won a race or got elected to some office or anything like that.  So, in a way, my answer may be a bit unusual.

I live by the idea that EACH OF US IS DOING OUR PERSONAL BEST AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT.  You may find that hard to believe, but I really believe that we are all doing the best we can with what we’ve got.  Now, sometimes the “very best” I’m doing isn’t too hot, but it’s still the best I can do AT THAT MOMENT.

And when that moment’s done, it’s done.  My attitude is “I’m finished with what I DID.  Now, how do I keep MOVING ON with my life?”

One of the big things that blocks us from moving on in our lives is worrying about WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK.  There’s always going to be someone out there who won’t like what I said or did.  Do I stop living based upon the fear that they may be the next person I meet?  Or do I keep on going to make the best out of my life while I have it?  It’s a very precious life.  I won’t throw it away–especially over someone’s opinion.

Each of us must decide what truth we will live by.  It’s important that my personal best be MY personal best, and that yours be YOUR personal best.  In other words, you do your personal best in terms of YOURSELF–so that YOU RUN YOUR OWN LIFE

In that spirit, here are some tips that I use to do MY personal best:

1.  I APPROACH WHAT I HAVE TO DO WITH THE “BEST” ATTITUDE.  If I want the most out of something I am doing, I approach it with this attitude: “I want the best out of me in this situation.”  That applies to ANYTHING I do.  When I sit down to meditate, I say, “I want the best out of my body, my mind, my emotions, and my spirit right now.  I want the best.”  I ask myself in very specific terms to do the very best that I can do.

2.  I DON’T JUDGE MYSELF.  If something I do doesn’t turn out as good as I’d like, I DON’T criticize myself for not doing better.  I’ve seen some folks sit themselves down and be hard on themselves.  They tell themselves, “Boy, did you do a lousy job.  What a screw up.”  Not me.  Why?  Because doing that has NEVER DONE ANYTHING TO CHANGE what I’ve already done.

3.  I ASK MYSELF HOW I CAN IMPROVE.  Like I said, I don’t criticize myself.  But I do CRITIQUE what I’ve done in order to decide HOW I CAN IMPROVE.  There’s a big difference in the two.  Instead of being hard on myself, I ask myself this question: “If this situation shows up again, how will I do better next time?”  That keeps me moving forward in my life.

4.  IF I CAN, I GO BACK AND FIX IT.  If my personal best wasn’t too hot, and later I find an opportunity to fix it, I take the time.  Maybe it’s an apology to someone.  Or maybe it’s to redo something to make it right.  When I give it my best shot AT THAT NEW TIME, it’s a brand-new personal best for me.

5.  I STRIVE TO DO THINGS BETTER THAN IS REQUIRED.  I always ask myself to do more than would be thought of as “acceptable.”  If I’m considering taking on a job or a responsibility, I say to myself, “Don’t do it unless you are going to do it the best way you can.”  That way, everyone involved can rest easy, because I’m doing my personal best to make a project work.

6.  I ASK FOR HELP WHEN I NEED IT.  I don’t think that there’s anything great about being a martyr to get a job done.  What’s wrong with being smart enough to ask for help when you need it?  If I’m doing my personal best and things still get beyond me, I ask for help.  To me, that’s being good to myself.

– John-Roger, founder of MSIA