God understands that we must accept totally our creation. We must accept and acknowledge the presence of illness within us if we’re going to deal with it. We have to unwrap this mystery of life. It’s not a life of judgments. It’s a life of revelation. – John-Roger
This article was first published in the New Day Herald, May 1993.
One of the most profound things that gets in our way is the sense of shame. Now, let’s say that somebody in this room has the key inside of them to enter into self-forgiveness for anything they’ve judged or done. They could say, “That’s the way it is,” and there would be no emotional judgments on it, no guilt, no shame. What if that one person could come to that place and not judge anybody else, and we would then have a rapture of Christ Consciousness right here and the earth would be renewed and receive its paradisiacal glory and the Christ could reign personally? Would you want that person to do it? Is there anybody here who would not want the person to do it because you’re not ready? Sometimes we’re ready, but we just don’t know if we’re worthy. That sense of unworthiness is often tied into a sense of shame.
How does shame really work? It’s a sense inside that you’ll be “found out,” that you’ll be seen for who you are. But that “who you are” is not the Spirit part. If you had seen that Spirit part, you would not feel or see the shame. You’d see only love and joy. So what are you looking at? You’re looking at behavior. You’re looking at what you’ve done and not done, and feeling bad about that. And you may be the one who, if you came into forgiveness and love, would allow the rest of us to go up to another level of consciousness. You may be the one holding us down.
The part of our personality or behavior that we don’t like is usually the part we have the shame wrapped around. So we unwrap that part and embrace it. When we do that, we have embraced the part of God that we had alienated and separated, the part we couldn’t look at before. The God I know is big enough to encompass and embrace all the things we’ve all done, plus a lot more that we’re going to do, because that God has done it all and understands it all. God understands that we must accept totally our creation. We must accept and acknowledge the presence of illness within us if we’re going to deal with it. We have to unwrap this mystery of life. It’s not a life of judgments. It’s a life of revelation. You’re constantly going to reveal yourself to yourself, and if you’re trying to be perfect in this physical body, you’re probably going to have a shameful time of it.
I used to teach school, and the kids would fear tests. Why? Because tests would show them their failures. But that’s not the truth about tests. A test is to reveal to you what you don’t know so that you can then move towards that and know it. Shame is a test to reveal to you what you don’t know, so you can move towards it and know it.
“You mean, when I feel shame, that’s a test?” That’s right.
“And I’ve passed some of the tests, but the shame is my marker for what I have yet to know?” Yes, because if you knew all of it, you wouldn’t feel the shame. Instead, you would feel the perfection of it. You really would start to feel the good feeling of it.
“Is life to be based upon good feelings?” Yes, an awful lot.
“Why?” Because God said, “You are to have joy, and have it more abundantly.”
But it’s usually hard to feel joy when we feel shame. And do you know what’s so amazing? We often like the things we feel shameful about. Why do I say we like them? Because we keep doing them. A person doesn’t keep masturbating because they dislike it. They don’t eat certain desserts because they dislike those sweets. They don’t wear certain clothes because they hate them. You need to understand: you do it because you like it.
If you can look at yourself in the mirror and acknowledge what you do and any shame you feel over it, you may get freer. You may come to the point where you can say those things as neutrally as you say, “I’m sitting in this chair,” and why would you feel bad about that?
“Because that’s socially acceptable, and everybody’s sitting in their chair. But not everybody’s looking in the mirror and saying, ‘I’m ashamed.'” Maybe they really should be, so they can get neutral.
When somebody calls you a name in an area where you’re neutral, you can just stand and listen to them. When they get through, you go, “Is that it? Yeah, okay.” You’re neutral. Do you know what’s nice about neutral? What they say doesn’t get to you. You just sit there and “idle.”
Am I neutral about things? No, I’ve hardly ever been neutral about anything. That’s why I have a reverse gear inside of me. If I get in something I don’t like, I back out and start another way. It’s being flexible with your energy and your spirit and your commitments to what you’re doing. If you’re committed to something and you hit a wall, you don’t keep going. You stop and back up. Some of you don’t; you keep going with an idea like, “I’ll make a door there soon.” No, you won’t. The only thing you’re going to do is change your face. Come on, let’s be real about all this.
You know what the “real” is all about? To have joy and laughter, and to have peace and friends. If I told some of you people all the things I know about what you do, you might feel so bad, so ashamed, so I wouldn’t dare tell you. But do you know something? I don’t care that you do it. Why? Because God has a plan for you inside of you, and that’s between you and God. It’s as simple as that. And who am I to interfere in that? If I could interfere, then I would be God. And I can’t. And you can’t interfere in mine.
For example, if you call me a name and I don’t like it, you’re not going to get to me. I’m going to get up and walk away. If you want to get to me, talk about love and caring and the upward direction we’re going, and how we feel about that, and the goodness that we have in our life. I want to keep focused on this upward vibration. I really do.
I see these babies around here, and I say, “That’s the upper vibration.” You people who haven’t had kids may not know what that is about. But if you’ve been around somebody who has a kid and you’ve become like a parent to that kid, you know what that upper vibration is about.
When you come into loving and you say, “I will love in spite of the shame,” you pick up the upper vibration. And that shame becomes a pedestal that you stand on to see further into the Spirit life, into the life and hearts of other people. Then do you know what you say? You say, “I know where you are coming from, and I know how you’re hurting. I know how you’ve felt hurt, and we will not do that to each other.”
And the person may say, “My God, how did you know that?”
“Because I have also felt the shame of life and the shame of experience and the judgments that I put on that.”
There’s not one thing any of you can do in here that I haven’t done. And there’s probably nothing you’re going to do that I haven’t done also. In my life, in the Spirit, I’ve been very, very busy. In fact, I’ve been so busy that I never had time to feel too much shame about anything, because the next thing was there for me.
It’s a good idea to set your life up to keep progressing in each moment and to bring yourself up to now: “Where am I? I’m up to right now. God is good. Life is great. God bless us all.” It’s like Merry Christmas, Happy Birthday, and a Happy New You — all in that moment, all right there. Then you look at people in the eye and you feel good.
You might say, “I can’t look them in the eye.” Why not?
“Because they’ll see me.” That’s your shame. Let them look. They will just see themselves, and they will have compassion for your tribulation and passion for your trials and understanding of how you’re coping with it. They’ll often assist you by leaving you alone. And sometimes they’ll assist you by coming in physically and doing things with you. All of that is proper. All of that is God. And then you may find out you’re the one who denied the upliftment of the planet because you refused to accept that part of your personality that you damned and felt shameful about.
And so now I ask you: Just accept that. Just say, “That nasty thinking I did is me, also. And that critical, negative feeling I had is me, also.” And if you say, “I shouldn’t do that,” ask yourself, “Why not?” It’s available. Everybody can do it. Why should you deny yourself? And so you don’t.
Then you may say, “Well, I can think negatively if I want to.” That’s right. “And I can think positively.” Yes, whatever. “Well, then, I just think I’ll do the best for me.”
If you do the best for you, you will recognize the blessings already are.
3 thoughts on “Embracing the Shame”
Thank you for the beautiful guidance and reminders.
Soul-of-my soul. Heart-of-my-heart. My Way-Shower Home…to the Kingdom of God. I hold out my illusions to you in my open hands…for your Loving, Grace, and Forgiveness to awaken all of me in beholding and experiencing God in everything, everyone, in every part of me. I lay at your feet my entire Gratitude.