What follows is an inspiring letter of thanks to the New Day Herald website from a searcher on the Internet who found our article The Dying Process in her time of need.

Dear Editor;

I just wanted to take a moment to say what a wonderful help the article, The Dying Process, by Denys Cope was to myself and my family during my father’s recent passing. It was about 4am, last Tuesday night/Wednesday morning, and we were all awakened with the horrible sounds of irregular breathing coming from my father. He had been in Hospice several weeks, and although they had prepared us in some ways for my dad’s progression towards death, they had not told any of us about the last 48 hours before death.

I am a physician assistant in the ER, and have seen and been a part of many emergent deaths. They are sudden, unexpected, and usually family are completely unprepared, and the news is quick and painful. But in all my 20 years, I had never sat bedside at someone’s death. I wanted to with my father, I just had no one to tell me what would happen. What could I expect.

Anyhow, at 4am on Wednesday morning last week, after being awake, all of us, for about 2 hours, I decided to seek assistance on the Internet. After putting in the actual words, The Dying Process, I was given the blessing of Denys’ article. We all read it eagerly, like young schoolchildren on the first day of kindergarten. But when we were done, instead of lying awake, waiting with each of my dad’s breaths, we were able to sleep for a few hours and focus on the hours ahead. He followed EACH of the stages Denys described, first irregular breathing that lasted a day, then the transition to agitation, confusion, and then to the peacefulness of a very regular, even breathing pattern. The entire process took about 48 hours from the time we had read the article, but the difference in our approach to his impending death was unbelievable. We took the time to comfort each other, and him, and continued to talk with him until the end. I didn’t know that hearing was the last thing to leave the dying person!!! We were able to talk to him, with him, until the very end. We were prepared and attentive to his transitions, and therefore we were able to take notice of our own transitions.

My father died, peacefully, with his family at his bedside, hand in hand, on Thursday, August 12th, 2004. He opened his eyes, after 12 hours of unconsciousness, just seconds before he left this life. We all encouraged him on, and in doing so, encouraged ourselves. His passing was a spiritually moving and life changing event for each of the 4 of us who witnessed it.

Therefore, I must again thank you for the article by Denys Cope. She helped us through the most difficult and confusing times human beings can endure–both the dying human, as well as the surviving humans. We are grateful for the assistance during our time of need, and I don’t think we could have experienced it as calmly, or as fully, as we did, without the help.

Thank you.

~~In memory of Robert Quirk, May 1929 – August 2004~~

Sincerely,
Susan M. Quirk
Macedonia, Ohio
USA

Click to read the NDH article The Dying Process.