The Start of Consciously Discovering Who I Am

By: Darlene Heart

May 5th, 2021

The Start of Consciously Discovering Who I Am


Darlene Heart (photo by Lucy P. Dickinson)

I’d like to share my first experience with the Traveler.  To preface this, let me take you back to 2009 when I became consciously aware of my connection with the Traveler/Christ/God on a whole different level from my heart.  I experienced a health issue that came on suddenly early 2009.  As time went on, I felt alone because my family wanted me to pursue some traditional methods and I knew deep in my heart that my body needed more natural measures for what I was experiencing.  I was torn between pleasing my family and some of my friends that kept on me to do what they wanted, with of course them feeling that was the best way for me to handle my healing.  On the other hand, if I did that, I knew I would be going against what I was feeling very deep in my heart to do.

I’ve always had a very deep spiritual connection at a very, very young age and I always talked to God and prayed every day.  This particular day in early 2009, I prayed like I had never prayed before and experienced something that I couldn’t yet grasp.  Then it seemed like all that I had going on at that time, got worse.  I very quickly experienced relationship challenges in a harsh way, family and friend challenges seemed to get even more challenging, when things seemed to go very smoothly prior to that.  I had car challenges all of a sudden, and huge financial challenges, where I ended up putting my house up for sale.  I wondered why all of this was happening all of a sudden!  I was a 44 year old single mother of 3 kids at the time.  My kids were 18 years (just graduating high school), 16 years and 13 years.  I had been a single mother since 2001, and although there were challenging times that go with life, for the most part, life was normal.  With that said, I now see why I thought life was normal.  I was not consciously “living”  through God as “One.”

I am finally beginning to understand what “Oneness” is and yet, I have a lot yet to understand as I am always evolving and growing and always want that to continue.  As a child, I always had a deep desire to find something that I knew was there and didn’t know how to connect with it or what it was. This “conscious” inner awareness goes back to when I was 5 years old.

After a series of events that led up to early 2009, I saw a gentlemen sitting across the room and although I couldn’t see his eyes up close, I felt that inner connection that I didn’t understand.  We met and spoke after this event, and not having a clue what was going on, he mentioned a CD to listen to which I could order on a website called MSIA.

I went home and got on the website, and I was FILLED with such a connection that I ordered the CD and looked at everything on the website and signed up for the free newsletters.  When I received the CD (Luxor Meditation for Peace and Harmony), I had quite an experience!  I called up this gentleman, and when I found out about the Discourses I ordered them and became a student of the Traveler.  This all happened within a couple of months.

About ten months later, the Traveler, John Morton, was coming to New Mexico to a city (Santa Fe) an hour from where I live.  This gentleman, who I called a mentor to me, was ministering all that time in his perfect ordinariness.  He and his wife drove me to the John Morton Seminar.  I had NO CLUE what I was in for.

I walked in and felt strange and didn’t’ know why.  I kept feeling like I was in a tunnel and I saw people walking around, however I felt like I was elsewhere.  Of course we sat in the front row and they sat me right next to the MC, so I was near the center…right in front of where John Morton was standing.  I walked in with a list of 8-12 questions.  I’m pretty sure it was more like twelve questions.  I thought that I was going to raise my hand and he would call on me to answer at least one of the questions, especially when I saw that I was sitting in the front row. How could he miss my hand, right?!

Well, when they Called in the Light, that was it for me!  I got very emotional inside and had no clue why or what was going on.  Then when John got up on stage, he looked right at me and I knew that I knew, however I didn’t know what I knew!  This was a closed seminar (Question and Answer) and after John spoke, he asked people to raise their hand with questions.  I eagerly began to raise my hand and all of a sudden, I could not get my hand up.  For some reason my hand would not go up!  By this time, actual tears were rolling down my face.  As John would answer someone’s question, I got answers to my questions.  They were almost in order to what I had written down.  I kept looking down at my paper in awe that, yet another questions was answered!

Long story short, John Morton, The Traveler, answered EVERY question that I had written down on paper, plus other questions that would come to mind as I heard him speaking, thinking that I should have written it down.  Before I could finish the thought, the questions were answered!  The answers kept coming even before I had processed the question in my mind.  I was given a Kleenex box soon after John got up on stage and used much of the box.  I cried so deep that it took all of me not to let it out loud, although it so was obvious!  I can’t tell you how many times I saw John look at me right when he’d answer one of my questions, and when I saw him look directly at me, I saw and felt the very, very deep Love of the Traveler.  Of course the tears poured out even more!  This went on for the entire seminar!

Although I met John Morton and John-Roger spiritually a few times during the night — when I’d wake up during those months from the time I signed up for Discourses to the time I physically met John Morton in person at my first MSIA Seminar — I had no idea what was ahead of me.  Although I never met John-Roger physically, he is with me, just as John Morton is and I speak to them every day.  The first time I met them inwardly, they came to me together, which was a surprise.

When John-Roger transitioned, I woke up from a sound sleep and he spoke to me, then he was gone.  I looked at the clock for some reason and knew there was something to that.  For some reason, before I left for work that morning, I looked at my emails and saw the email announcing John-Roger’s transition.  I took a later lunch that day and watched the live MSIA announcement online, which I appreciated so much!  Although I didn’t know J-R physically, I cried and cried and cried so very deeply as I watched the announcement online.  This hit me deeper than words could express.  After that day was gone, I had an experience with LIFTING and since that day, I have only had such loving and joyous feelings when I think of J-R and when he communicates to me.

I share all this in hopes that at least one person will discover their true Divine Self and live to fulfill their true Divine purpose and truly live through their “Loving.”  As now I realize that Love, more-so “Loving,” is God.  There are many paths to achieve that inner joy, love, and peace in a person’s life; this is only my story that I share with you with much Loving.  I am in deep gratitude for all of the spiritual help I receive on a daily basis.  I am especially grateful to J-R and John for all the teachings they have made available and for all they have personally done in helping me and helping us all come into ONENESS.  God Bless Us All.

In Loving Service,

Darlene Heart

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lovely 🙂

Truly beautiful at a deep level, and I received value from it, even after 48 years on discourses!

I love this account of coming into close connection with the Traveler, Spiritually and then physically. It reminds me how precious is this close connection we all share. How amazing that you felt so close to J-R without ever having met him physically that you would be moved to tears at his transition. Thank you for sharing, Darlene.