Divine love is not possessive. We express our devotion as “I love you,” or “God Bless you,” and life begins unfolding. We are not even in an area of discipline anymore; we have bypassed it. We enter the area of divine service and we are part of those who have learned to live in freedom. -John-Roger, DSS
I’m not particularly into awards in general. In fact, receiving volunteer of the year seemed strange to me. Why would I be acknowledged for hanging out with people I love doing things I love? But there it was. I had not even really thought about what I had been doing for the past years. I did not even consciously think about serving. It was just about answering the call in each moment. Following close and following slow to the love that would take me where love wants to go.
To be loved so totally by a person, as I experienced with John-Roger, was to be wounded by an aching sweetness, to be terminally reaching for infinity. To speak to John-Roger was for me an experience of total transparency, to be fully seen in my humanness, and yet to be fully loved. To love another person in that way is simply to love God or to be the Beloved. As I dive deeper into this Ocean of Love and Mercy, I find that I have only ever spoken to the Beloved, only ever loved the Beloved, only ever served the Beloved…
I can recall moments, stretched out into immeasurable time, when all the world seems enveloped by a golden light as if each person were being individually and completely held. In those moments, I feel overwhelmed with the awareness of God’s generosity. How could God be so generous? Around every corner, in every breath, in every gaze, waiting for our own willingness to receive of it.
If I allow myself to fall into the experience of it, I find I am always surrounded by loving, forgiveness, and mercy. In those moments, “Thank you” seems the only appropriate prayer and somehow always seems too small for what is given, but it’s what I have.
I am always seeking for union with that presence. Always calling out its name in my heart. Always speaking the words to John-Roger in silence, “J-R, please take me with you to the Heart of God.” And I find again and again that the loving that I seek is present with the one God has placed in my path. And God is so generous in the way that he guides me through that process. I need not search for those to love and serve because God places them right in front of me.
And what is service if not me placing myself into the current of God’s Ocean of Love and Mercy in expression and manifestation on this level?
“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God… And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.” (John 4:7 – 4:16 New King James Version)
We do what is needed often in the unseen places and silent moments. We do the loving actions that defy reason and flood the consciousness with healing light. We open our hearts until it aches from inexplicable joy and, still, we love deeper.
Service for me is an abandonment of the story of me as an individual droplet of this divine ocean into the realization that we are the ocean itself in complete expression. In that consciousness it does not much matter who is being served or how. All rivers of consciousness and intention flow together into a single loving, a single answer to a single call.