MSIA minister, Ford Crull, lives a few blocks from what is now Ground Zero. He is an artist who works in New York City. Ford wrote this story for the NDH web site to share about his ministry since September 11. His story also inspires us to step forward in our ministries. The photos included in this article were taken by Ford at Ground Zero.
My life changed considerably on September 11. Not only was I displaced from my home and work and the normalcy of my routines, but also my comfort zone was obliterated. I felt naked, everything was different, I was different, and I had to be more aware and clear than I ever had before just to cope with the extraordinary events. Yet something wonderful was happening too. Special circumstances often force us to really look at ourselves. Without knowing it, at least at first, I started living the teachings of MSIA more, being of service, and living in my truth.
By midday, after the Towers were down, there was an eerie sense of momentary calm. Most people had left the neighborhood and my building, which is a few blocks from the WTC. There had been reports on the TV that blood was needed so I thought I would head down to the nearest hospital to donate. I felt I had to do something. At the hospital I was turned down, as there were no facilities to give blood. They sent me to 55 Water Street, farther south, which also sent me away. I then showed up at the triage unit at the Staten Island Ferry terminal and they too were ill equipped. To get home, I was directed to proceed up the West Side Highway, which made no sense to me as the wind was blowing and dust was 6 inches deep and gusting everywhere. I ended up being pushed to Battery Park city where I was forced onto a tugboat and dropped off in Jersey City. Later I caught a path train back to the city and surreptitiously made my way back to my house. By nightfall, grabbing an old pass to Battery Park community center, I walked down to the site and miraculously, they let me through. My journey had begun. Over the next few nights I helped out wherever needed, ultimately working at the Med One trauma station where I helped with supplies, and as a runner.
One of the key things I noticed about the whole experience was how important it was (and is) to be in the Now, the precious presence. The right thing to do seemed to come up inside me and I knew what to do, without ruminating on the good or bad of the action. It was a matter of just being in the Moment and allowing Spirit to direct me. It was the next thing that was the right thing. And then the next thing. If I thought about it too much my emotions, fears, what ifs, would come up to sabotage the flowing. I realized much later that the reason it was so easy to get into certain restricted areas, and accomplish so much, was that Spirit handled all the details. I simply followed the Light. When we open our awareness and allow Spirit in, we open ourselves to the greater service.
And I think that now, especially, it is so important to make the choice of dedication to Spirit and to service. Once we have made that decision it is our responsibility to continuously open to Spirit’s direction for us to do His work. We come to a place of loving neutrality where Spirit enters in and guides us to do the work that is necessary. For me it felt as if I was in some kind of powerful, loving cocoon, and I just needed to stay clear to do the work. As I mentioned, I didn’t think much about it, I just knew what was to be done. This truth was very evident one day as I was bringing a load of hardhats down to the Med One unit. For days there was concern that One Liberty Plaza was in danger of collapsing. As I was proceeding south, someone yelled run and a torrent of people rushed north, fearing the building was going to come down. I stood for a moment, and inside I heard, “it is OK, go to your unit.” I arrived to find that everyone had evacuated, and I was the only one there. Within minutes people started rushing in from the site, needing supplies, direction, etc. By default I was in charge. So I did it. The lesson? I trusted implicitly that voice that told me to go forth, even though the world was frantically rushing by. I was in the Now, open to Spirit’s wishes for me.
When we, as MSIA ministers, do the work, it is for all of us. I knew I was being supported not just by Spirit but also by the whole ministerial community, not to mention the Travelers! We don’t do this alone, and I felt so lovingly supported by all who were sending the Light and praying for upliftment. My gratitude was unfathomable. Nothing in my life had ever seemed so important.
It is selfless service. But there is no loss of self. Rather, we become our greater selves, it is exponential. I found that I felt so much more expanded and in touch with all as a matter of being present and doing the work. I had this amazing energy and good will. Contraction is exhausting, expansion is energizing. Another thought began to take shape as well. We study hard to “be in this world, but not of it’ and I know for myself this has been a very challenging area of my life. But after days of work at the site a realization began to form that it was no accident for me to be there, that in spite of all the horror around me I felt strangely positive, hopeful and loving. There was a reason I was there. And I became immensely grateful and felt truly blessed that I had been able to be at Ground Zero from the first moment, calling in the Light continuously and planting Light columns wherever I was down there. Spirit had a plan for me because I had chosen the Light. I began to sense that out of the tragedy something wonderful was coming forth out of the ashes and rubble. The phoenix was rising. There was a kind of awful beauty in the tragedy, and that if for some reason this had to happen it was now time to help initiate the blessings that would grow out of it.
Now, more than ever, it seems time for us all to really step forward in our ministries, to look inside and see if a higher calling is now being asked of us
