Shop
Close 
LANGUAGE

New Day Herald

The Best Of These Is Love

This article by John-Roger was first published in The Movement Newspaper, August 1984. At some point in everyone’s life, we have felt an urge to love. And as much as we wanted to express that love to someone, we didn’t. It might have seemed easier to not express our love, but the end result was probably a feeling of rejection or a decision to never love anyone again.

The interesting thing is that we shut down our love with an attitude of absolute justification. It might sound like this: They don’t deserve my love; they’ll abuse it; they’ll hurt me; they’ll reject me. What really happened is you decided to hurt and reject yourself so nobody else could do it.

Humans have the unique ability to place such demands on themselves and others that no one can measure up to them. We program and condition ourselves to have something done a certain way, and if it doesn’t happen according to our “plan,” we feel hurt and react by walking away.

And we justify every step of the way with feelings of rejection. Not only that, but the next time a situation comes along which calls for an open heart, we make the decision not to participate because we think we know it will produce the same results as it has in the past.

Folks, there are ways to change this type of reactive behavior. One way is to forget it! Don’t go back into the situation that keeps you locked in a negative memory. You will reproduce the hurt right now and think it’s a memory. It’s actually a newly created hurt that you’re bringing to yourself and tacking it onto today’s experiences.

The past only propels and impels us if we go in that direction. We can remember the hurt of 20 years ago and bring it into today’s experience to relive it as today’s hurt, or we can say, “that was 20 years ago” and forget it.

Have you ever gotten a rock in your shoe? You may have started to limp because of the pain, but do you still limp today? No, because you removed the rock that was in your shoe. It’s not necessary to limp today because you limped back then.

However, some people might have kept the rock in their shoe so long that it caused a bruise and they feel justified in limping today because of the damage that was done back then by keeping the rock in their shoe for so long. Human beings seem to like to hold on to their pain, or at least justify it!

What is the key to unlocking this type of behavior? If you choose to, you can give in to the situation. And if you choose not to, then you can choose to do whatever is necessary to get rid of it. You can also choose to outlast it until the rock becomes little pieces of sand.

Another choice is to focus on something else and not be aware of the part that’s hurting. Many of us are masters of that one. We’ve taught ourselves to focus on the mind instead of the heart. Let your mind sort out the information your heart wants to move on instead of making a mental decision and hoping that will do the trick.

Right here today, you can make a choice to live fully and abundantly. According to psychiatric and psychoanalytic thought, we are a product of our past and it cannot be changed. According to me, that’s not true. That’s why I do the work I do because I know that at one time your heart was open and loving. And if it was that way before, it can be that way again. Why return to the unpleasant and unsuccessful memories? The same mechanism that gets you back to those times can also get you back to the memory of success and accomplishment.

One of the biggest illusions we buy into is that of despair. We enter into internal dialogue that sounds like this: “What happens if I get fired?” “What happens if he or she leaves me?” “What happens if I run out of gas?” “What if I don’t get this job?” “What happens if…” You buy into psychic speculation and let it ruin the present moment.

How about letting yourself and others be flexible and adaptable? Our true nature is to pick up and put things down rapidly. At the same time, we have the ability to form rigid patterns of behavior that bind us. We wonder why people aren’t more like us and why they don’t do things just the way we think they should.

Who do you think God is? Your little point of view over here? That God is too small and will not free you, enliven you or expand you. When you create space inside yourself that’s large enough for everyone’s point-of-view and everyone’s God, you will expand and open your own heart.

You’ve got to stand back, open your perspective of your vision and see what’s really going on.

Don’t think that your openness and loving aren’t going to be challenged. Having the inner experience is one thing, and living the experience of it is another. And Spirit will strengthen you through the everyday process of living. No one is exempt from that. As a matter of fact, you should welcome those situations which validate your openness and acceptance.

Recently, someone asked me, “Are suits the only thing that you wear?” And I said, “Do you only eat oranges all day long?” The person looked at me with a very surprised look and asked, “Why would you ask me that?” I said, “I see you eating an orange now, so obviously that’s all you ever eat.”

Just because you’re doing something now, doesn’t mean that you’ll be doing it later, and you may go back and do the same thing again. What difference does it make? Use what works for you now, and have the wit to change it when it no longer works for you. That’s your inheritance. And what you may be able to demonstrate is that you can change to this and change right back again because your heart is wide open.

If it’s really true that we’re made in God’s image, perhaps He should go back to the drawing board. If it’s true that we’re made in some image that we’ve taken, perverted and changed to something else, then it’s time for us to go back to the drawing board. It’s time to go back to that place where you reside as the spiritual force that you are; the one who performs the miracles of perfect timing and keeps you going even when you think you don’t know where you’re going.

If I could wish anything on you, it would be that you’d let go of the past, wipe the slate clean and accept the abilities which are already a part of you. If you think you are ruled by genetics, remember that when you move into a spiritual consciousness you recreate genetics. We can always move to a more elevated consciousness if and when we choose. We can choose the wealth and abundance of good habits and good thinking so people will say, “I’m so glad you’re around me. I don’t care if you have money; you are abundance by your attitude.”

Be sure that your attitude is followed by action. The people I know who have what I call a more spiritually aware consciousness, are motivated by love and they act upon it. Some people are motivated by love, but they say, “Maybe next week” or “If I ever get around to it…” They’re motivated by love but they have too much doubt about what the other person is going to do with their love and they have difficulty acting on it. There’s too much hurt ruling them for them to express their love. Those people have learned the right words and how to say them, but by their actions you can tell that they’re barren.

If you want someone to learn a new response, you don’t give them a book to read or lecture to them and have them listen to you. You engage them in the process of revelation, and in the action of getting involved it will transform the attitude underneath and lead them to new insights and awarenesses.

I’ve always said that it takes great courage to see the face of God. It always takes courage to love with no conditions attached. Accept the fact that your love has brought you this far, and now you can take this place and expand it. Or you can take this day and build an altar to it and cement it, light the incense and make this the crowning achievement for your existence. You will probably choose to take the risks and expand from where you are.

Use your life to love. And keep your heart open—today, tomorrow and ever after. And let people participate with you in that openness and share your love. You don’t need to create miracles or save the world; just be who you are. Once we come to that place, there’s nothing more to say because the Spirit is present in us and for us.

Baruch Bashan.

-John-Roger

1 thought on “The Best Of These Is Love”

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published.