Perhaps you have heard fellow MSIA ministers talking about officiating at weddings and thought of doing so yourself. Maybe you’ve hesitated out of fear or just haven’t known how to go about it. That’s what happened to me in 1991 when I had the first inkling that I wanted to perform wedding ceremonies. At a ministers’ meeting, as a fellow minister was sharing about his experiences as a wedding officiant, I felt something inside of me reaching to have that for myself. Part of my reason for writing this article is to share the things I have learned about performing weddings and I wish I had known when I started. I am hoping that, in doing so, I can support and encourage those of you who are wanting to participate in this wonderful expression of your ministry.
It was hearing about the blessings that another minister was receiving through the process of officiating at weddings that began my journey into this wonderful public expression of my ministry. So, I thought it would be helpful to talk to a few ministerial friends about the blessings they have received through officiating and share them with you. I spoke to Lou Tenaglia, Joan Beisel, Kathryn Kienke, and Mary Jane Weiss and we were all remarkably consistent in what we had to say:
-It is a blessing to be called into service by Spirit each time a couple calls or emails to inquire about your availability and then to choose into these opportunities.
-It is a blessing to serve as a minister in the larger community beyond our spiritual family, both to let ourselves be known in that way and to serve as vehicles of the Traveler Consciousness.
– It is a blessing to claim your ministry publicly, which deepens and grounds it within.
-It is a blessing to validate the spiritual journeys of the many couples who are looking for a bridge between the religions they were born into and what they now believe or are seeking to find.
-It is a blessing to hold the Light for others, while being cleansed and uplifted by the Light yourself. No matter what is going on in your personal life, it is eased through this grace.
-It is a blessing and a profound privilege to serve as a vehicle of the Light — to feel its presence flow through you and sweep across the audience.
-It is a blessing to consistently get feedback from couples, their families and friends about the heartfelt quality of the ceremony and the universal presence of spirit beyond any religious definitions.
And, as though these are not enough reasons to run out and perform weddings, there is a genuine need for interfaith and ecumenical ministers to offer their services. Today more and more couples of all ages are choosing to design their own wedding ceremony. Many say they want a spiritual and heartfelt ceremony without presenting the beliefs of a particular faith. They want a ritual that truly celebrates their unique set of beliefs, values, and life circumstances. As ecumenical ministers, we are particularly well-suited to assist them. Yet, as we are not affiliated with church buildings and congregations, we are harder for couples to find and therefore need to make an effort to be visible.
In my case, as luck would have it, about a week after deciding I wanted to officiate at weddings, I saw an ad for a small local Bridal Expo. So, I printed up some business cards and bravely stepped out for the first time in the role of the public Reverend Judith Johnson. At the Expo, I distributed my cards to some of the vendors. Soon thereafter, I received a call from a couple interested in having me perform their wedding. The bakery they had chosen to do their cake had given them my card! As I drove to the couple’s house, I prayed a lot and felt like an absolute fraud. Yes, I was duly ordained in 1985, but I had not yet really claimed my ministry publicly, nor were there any sufficient resources available to tell me what would be expected of me in this new role. So, I chose the
