Question: How can I attune to the loving that I am rather than seek love and approval outside myself?

Answer: In the seminars Turning Points to Liberation, John-Roger identified what he called “Sacred Cows” — things that we make more important than ourselves. He termed one of those Sacred Cows “Self-Recognition.” When we are seeking love and approval outside of ourselves, we are seeking Self-Recognition. Self-Recognition is the importance we place on being recognized, acknowledged, appreciated, awarded and honored. It’s where we tell ourselves, “I need that approval. I need that acknowledgment, and then I’ll feel good.”

With the Sacred Cow of Self-Recognition, you decide whether you’re happy or not based on whether you’re recognized or not and whether others treat you the way you think you should be treated. They may give you approval or they may not give you approval. But this “cow” runs you around because while you’re looking for that recognition or approval, you aren’t necessarily doing what is true and authentic for you. Your life experience then becomes based on something outside of you that others tend to control rather than on what you know as the truth within you.

There’s a tendency with seeking recognition, that even as much recognition as we may get, it’s never enough. So when you put approval outside of yourself, then approval becomes more and more difficult to attain. You can stack up the trophies and rewards, and it still won’t satisfy your desire for recognition because there is some part of you telling yourself, “I’m not good enough, and I need to have someone or something show me I’m good enough.”

Who are you to say “I’m not good enough”? Only a nobody would say that, and you’re not a nobody. So don’t entertain “I’m not good enough” thinking. That’s a waste of your energy. Remind yourself, “I’m good enough!” That’s a ministry to yourself. And as you learn to do it to yourself, you can extend that loving and honoring to others.

Every single one of us has the opportunity to look at ourselves as under-performing or inadequate because that’s an easy thing to do in this world. It’s part of our humanness. This world doesn’t always represent who we are in the Spirit. So when we look outside and take ourselves away from the inner experience of who we are to some exteriorization of that in the physical world, we must then return to that perfection within to know our true goodness. And when we return within, we rediscover time and again, “I am loving, and I am always here.” That loving and perfection within is an experience of who we truly are.

Only through our illusions and perceptions can we move away from the loving and perfection inside. So when you have thoughts that you’re no good or inadequate and you need approval outside yourself, you can realize that those are just thoughts. Those thoughts signal that you’re getting caught up in illusion instead of the reality of who you are. You can stop those thoughts, and remember the loving truth within. You don’t need to seek approval outside yourself to know the loving goodness that you always are.

Open yourself up to this truth of your being — You Are the Blessings. The blessings, the opportunity for greater good, are always present within you, others, and the world around you. All that is needed is to bring your awareness to that truth, follow, and choose the loving as best you can.

Welcome your life completely. Greet it as a long-lost friend or, even better, as your best friend. Even if that seems strange to you or a situation appears as something against you, embrace and love it all. Trust and have faith in the goodness in all things, including and especially yourself.

Welcome the blessings of who you are. And remember to give your heartfelt thanks, a prayer of praise and faith in God’s blessing upon all things. Because you can always count on this truth — when you get into the Spirit and have the experience of who you truly are, then you will know what God knows, which is “You are the Beloved in whom I am well pleased.”

Baruch Bashan