New Day Herald

NDH-Q&A John-Roger on LOVE

Q&A with John-Roger on LOVE


Love yourself, love your family, love others, love life, love all things — and do your spiritual exercises to become more aware of God’s great love for you. – John-Roger

This article is compiled from Q&A with John-Roger published in the Movement Newspaper or the New Day Herald from 1982-96.

Q:  It seems like the happier and the more loving I get, the more people pick on me and tell me I’m wrong. I don’t think I am, but it’s getting harder to be with some people. And sometimes I react, and then I don’t demonstrate loving. What can I do?

J-R: There will be people, God bless them, who will hate you for doing all the things that demonstrate loving of yourself because it also demonstrates to them that they are not doing that for themselves. Instead of them learning that they can also be loving, they will try to castigate you and prove you wrong — and they can. They’ll hit your car, hit you, pick on your family, and if you explode and try to get back at them, they will say, “See, you weren’t living your teachings.” But life is like that. If that happens, you just immediately go right back into the teachings again. You’re allowed all sorts of mistakes in learning anything. None of us came in with this level perfected. There is a rightness and properness that takes place spiritually, however, and that’s where we want to keep the focus.

Q: I hear you talk a lot about love. Will you define what you mean by love?

J-R: It might look like many things to many people. It may look like patience, where you let things unfold the way they’re going to anyway. It might look like tolerance and acceptance, where you let people be what they need to be, even if you don’t think it is terrific. You know that underneath whatever is going on for them, they are doing the very best that they know how. Loving may also look like serving someone with no thought of recognition or gain. It may look like being good to yourself and knowing that you are doing your very best. It may look like living your life in honesty and integrity and keeping your agreements with yourself and others. Experiencing loving may also come in many other forms and expressions. Loving is not limited!  The Traveler can give you an experiential level of loving.

Q: How can someone best express their spiritual love for another person in a dominantly physical-emotional world? How can I best express that love for you?

J-R: Before expressing spiritual love for another, it is necessary to awaken yourself to that spiritual love. Such awakening occurs during spiritual exercises, and such expressions are strengthened by the highest spiritual act on the physical level—service. By service I do not mean those who have a job that involves service (i.e. doctors, nurses, social workers, etc.). I mean giving for the joy of giving with no recompense other than the privileged opportunity acted upon.

When you have expressed yourself consistently in these two areas over a period of time, spiritual love will become your primary expression. Then every person (not just “another person”) will be a receptacle of your loving. It will not be so much as a conscious design of you being a spiritual lover to another, rather it will be the joy of the Spirit expressed through you. But remember, first you must fill your own cup by spiritual actions, and then you give of the overflow. And you can “best express that love” for me by learning how to love yourself, and then we both get the benefit of that spiritual loving.

Q: I have the willingness to be loved, and the desire to love; but I just don’t know how. Is there a way out of this dilemma?

J-R: You may have the mistaken idea that love is something outside Of YOU. Do those things to find the love within you first, to find the loving quality within you, and then you will not feet a separation of’ your love and the love of others. The teachings of the Mystical Traveler Consciousness will help you to awaken that love within yourself.

Q: I feel a lot of love in my heart for people, but I have a really difficult time expressing that out into the world. I keep a lot of it bottled up inside me, and I just don’t tell people how I’m feeling.

J-R: If you have the love in your heart, that’s the most important thing, and you can communicate and express that love in silent ways. You can send the Light to people. You can send them your love. You can support them and understand them in what they do, silently if you haven’t yet done that outwardly.

As you just continue to do that, you’ll find that it starts “showing” and other people will become aware of that. They just might see it in the smile in your eyes. They might sense it in your silence. People are really good at picking up when someone loves them. So don’t worry about expressing it outwardly. Just keep the love flowing in your heart and you’ll be fine.

Q: I find it difficult to express love to other people. I just feel real blocked in that area. What can I do to be more expressive?

J-R: I would suggest just letting your heart be open inside of you and not being concerned about your outward expression. If you think kind and loving thoughts about other people and just love them inside of you, your outer expression will just naturally reflect that loving.

Q: How can I express love to someone when I don’t like what they’re doing?

J-R: There are several approaches you can take. One is to tell the person directly. It might be to say, “Every time we sit down to watch TV you wiggle your foot and it really irritates me. Can you please not do that?” That allows the person to make a choice of whether or not to cooperate with you, or at least communicate why his foot is always in motion. That would be a very loving gesture. Another example might be that you work with someone and they have a certain habit that affects a lot of other people. Take the time to tell them what they are doing. So many people are on “automatic” or “unconscious” in the things they do. It could be a very loving gesture to tell them how they are affecting you personally or how you see they are affecting other people.

Be careful about making judgments. Sometimes it might appear that a person is doing something to hurt themselves. That’s not really your concern. If it affects you personally, then it is your concern. So many people are so ready to jump in and “save” the other person from themselves. Let it go, and let the person have his own experiences. The best thing you can do is picture him in health, wealth and happiness and keep walking your own path and not get side-tracked onto his.

Q: On the external level I take care of myself and am good to myself; but inwardly I truly feel a void. It is easy for me to express love to others around me. Why is it easier to love others more than myself? How can I learn to love myself more?

J-R: The void and the difficulty in loving yourself are a blessing if you listen to the call. It is saying, “Come in here and take care of me.” How do you do that? It’s called spiritual exercises. S.e.’s are a form of tuning into the real you, which is the Traveler, which is God. Once you attune to that divine essence within you, loving yourself will be a result of doing spiritual exercises.

Q: What are you referring to when you speak of the “heart” as knowing the truth? I thought the mind is what knows.

J-R: I am talking about a loving that is the wisdom of the human being. The head, the mind, tends to confuse, doubt, debate, etc. The heart is at peace and just knows what is so. I’m not talking about an emotional quality or level of “feeling”.

I am talking about knowing. We use our minds as tools, but the wisdom that has the loving, compassionate quality, is of the heart and not of the mind.

Q: What does it mean to be made in “God’s image?” What is “God’s image?”

J-R: God’s image is the expression and manifestation of unconditional loving in every shape, form and frequency. To be made in this image is simply an indication of the potential of each and every one of us. To determine if we are living up to “God’s image,” can be simply evaluated on the basis of our action and reaction. Are we involved in unconditional loving as a living expression? If so, we are indeed made in God’s image. Are we involved in ego and emotional reactions? If so, we are involved in ego and emotional reactions? If so, we are ignoring our divine heritage.

Q: Forgiveness is an all encompassing cure in any situation, but there are times when I feel it is important to make a certain point or suggestion. Is forgiveness always a passive action?

J-R: Making a suggestion has nothing do with forgiveness. However, if you are making points on the level that you are “scoring” on somebody else from the ego or emotional place, then you are creating karma in negative behavior. Then I suggest you learn to forgive yourself for being stupid. But that’s okay. Being stupid seems to be part of the human package. Forgive your stupidity, learn what you have to learn and go on about your business until the next opportunity…and there will be one. The next time, do you still come from that emotional get-even place, or can you be more objective, share information, and accept that difference of opinion are just fine? Opinions are just like noses. Everyone has one. Where you get in trouble is when you blame someone for not agreeing with the point of view you made, or taking your suggestion. By the way, forgiveness is not a passive action. It has the active energy of unconditional loving. This can manifest in words, a letter, phone call, a hug, support for a position not of your preference, or a release during spiritual exercises.

Q: I’m working on being more forgiving of myself for some of the dumb things I do. I hope that helps me to be easier on myself, What else can I do?

J-R: Do the best you can, and have loving as the keynote for your existence. Sometimes you’ll fall short. So what? Get up and go again. The teachings say, “Do all things in loving.” But when somebody doesn’t do that, we don’t say, “Now kill them.” Instead we say, “Sometimes you fall a lot of times, and when you do, get up one more time than you fall.”

There is forgiveness and grace in all the teachings, and you have to forgive yourself first. If you say, “I fall short of my own standard,” you might want to revise your standard to be one of harmony and balance instead of self criticism. Anyway, the Soul, the part of you that’s the Spirit part, doesn’t care about what goes on because what happens is just experience, and the Soul sees it in all of its perfection.

The part that you need to be kind to is your ego, which comes out of the mind and the emotions. Because the ego is tied to your mind and emotions, if you go to beat it up, you will feel mentally and emotionally beaten up. Be kind to that part of you because then, when you go back inside, you will feel the kindness in your emotions and your mind.

Demonstrate the loving to yourself. When you don’t over eat, you are demonstrating the loving for your body. When you exercise your body to utilize the energy better, you are also demonstrating the loving for your body. As you think positive thoughts, you are demonstrating the loving for your mind. As you do things to keep the emotions harmoniously balanced, you are demonstrating the loving for the emotions. When you start to do these things, you’ll live in greater balance and joy, and other people will be attracted into that force of love.

Q: How do I create more devotion within myself?

J-R: Give and receive in loving.

Q: How do you put up with all this?

J-R: Without love, there isn’t a chance.

Q: Could you talk a little bit more about loving?

J-R: There’s only one thing I want in my life and that’s more loving. And loving means touching, loving, caring, sharing, health, wealth, happiness, prosperity, abundance, and riches. There’s just ten things there. That’s all I want, more loving, more of those ten. At any given time will be fine. And with it, I want the equilibrium to handle all that. So all of that in balance and if I get very little, but it’s balanced, I don’t know that it’s not a lot.

Q: You mean that I need to be able to handle what I get? I could get too much?

J-R: Yes, you could overdo it. I sometimes do; I’m stupid like a lot of people. it’s called karma. But I found a way to get rid of it in a hurry. That means maybe in a day, maybe in a minute, maybe in an hour, maybe two days.

Q: How?

J-R: Go into the Spirit and dissolve it. It can’t follow me into Spirit, so it dissolves.

Q: Do you have anything to share with me for my highest good?

J-R: Love yourself, love your family, love others, love life, love all things — and do your S.E.’s to become more aware of God’s great love for you.

Q: How can I create working with people at the level of loving that shows up in an Insight training?

J-R: Have nothing to prove to anyone, and the loving might just start to come forth.


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