My husband Jim and I went on PAT IV in 1988. We had been studying in MSIA for a few years but didn’t really know too many people in the Movement. I had only been an MSIA minister for a year and Jim hadn’t been ordained yet, so this whole idea of traveling with a group of people we didn’t know seemed a little weird and new and surprising behavior for us. But nonetheless we were “on the trip.”
I had particularly always wanted to go to Egypt. I was so excited about all of the temples. And while I was looking forward to visiting all of them, I was particularly drawn to see the Temple at Philae — the one temple, through reading and seeing pictures, I was very attracted to.
However, on our way to JFK Airport we got into a traffic jam and missed the NY PAT IV group flight that was making a connection with the LA group flight in Amsterdam en route to Cairo. Well, a quick call to Esprit Travel got us on another flight which promised to get us to Amsterdam in time to hook up with the group. Well, this plane had mechanical trouble and was about 3 hours late in leaving. Nonetheless it looked like we would be able to get to Amsterdam with 2 hours to spare and with enough time to hook up with the connecting flight. So it was after midnight when our plane was pulling away from the gate at JFK and taxiing to the takeoff runway, when don’t you know our plane was rammed into in the tail by another plane moving slowly on the ground — but damaging our plane nonetheless. Needless to say we had to get off this plane and get on another plane which arrived in Amsterdam approximately 20 minutes after the connecting Amsterdam group flight had taken off.
Well we were beside ourselves. Didn’t know what to do. We were concerned (being well disciplined Insight Grads) that if we were lucky enough to actually make it to Egypt there would be a door monitor to greet us wanting to know what we had made “more important” than getting to the plane on time and… send us home. We started wondering if this was a “sign.” Were we not “supposed” to go? Etc. But we persevered, spending the night in Amsterdam, getting to Cairo on our own the next day, where mercifully (because unbeknownst to us Esprit Travel, the world’s best travel staff bar none, had been keeping track of our whereabouts) an Egyptian travel agent met us, handled our visa problem (we were on the group visa/not an individual visa — potentially creating all kinds of issues of whether we could enter the country or not which had never even occurred to us), put us up in a Cairo hotel and woke us up 3 hours later to board a pre-arranged propeller plane to Aswan to meet our PAT IV Nile cruise boat.
Our cab driver from the Aswan airport had a hard time finding our boat so he said — loosely interpreted — he decided to take us on an unrequested, but expensive tour of Aswan. As a result of all of this delay, we missed the excursion to Philae and instead immediately boarded a flight to Abu Simbel. Abu Simbel was incredibly awesome. And despite the fact that we had had very little sleep in 2 days, somewhere in 110 degree heat at Abu Simbel we both realized we were “home.”
Nonetheless, I still couldn’t believe we missed Philae. While we were very happy to finally arrive, the trip itself was beyond description in its importance to both Jim and me as as a kind of “awakening”, I was very upset about not seeing Philae. I wasn’t neutral on it. It stayed with me.
So when we went back to Egypt on PAT V in 1995, I was extremely excited about the prospect of finally visiting and seeing Philae. I kept talking about it prior to leaving for the trip. Philae was scheduled to be the first early morning excursion following the first night on the Nile cruise.
So… this time I was all prepared. Jim and I both had watches on with alarms. So I set those to wake us up in time. Plus we were told we would all be receiving a wake up call from the boat’s crew. And, I know I have an automatic alarm clock inside of me that always goes off on time. Plus I’ve never been on retreat with MSIA where I didn’t hear the sound of hair dryers and people walking in the halls — mostly Staff — very early that would wake me up. So I was primed and ready for the next day’s excursion to the island where Philae sits.
As you’ve probably guessed by now, Jim and I both had the deepest sleep that night, probably the deepest sleep we’ve ever had in our lives. Also, as it turned out, the phone in our room was broken. So we never got a wake up call. Never heard our wrist watch alarms. Never heard the pitter patter of little feet in the hall, hair dryers, nothing. We both woke up at what seemed like exactly the same time feeling incredibly refreshed and alert — but with some lingering confusion. And then it was kind of like “where are we”? And then it was kind of like, “oh my God”, “what time is it”? And then we looked at each other in absolute disbelief. Later that day we realized we woke up at what must have been the very time that our folks were leaving the Temple of Philae.
So, once again, I was not neutral. I was upset. I was depressed. I was confused. I was not hiding my hurt — that almost felt like anger inside — although I don’t truly believe I expressed it that way. But my reaction was obvious enough to others that one staff person came around and said that John-Roger had said if I wanted I could go on to Greece with the group and then come back around and go to Philae on the second PAT V trip in a few weeks. I was a little embarrassed as I hadn’t spoken to J-R about this and didn’t want him to be bothered by my upset. But I appreciated the offer and seriously considered it. And, kept considering it throughout the trip. And ultimately decided against it as I had responsibilities at home that needed my attention.
Later during that same first full excursion day of PAT V, we were at the Temple at Kom Ombo (we went there at sunset. It is incredibly beautiful and peaceful. The Light is incredible. the hot, dry heat is like a caress), I was walking by myself looking down — still depressed about missing Philae — and feeling strangely alone in the midst of 150 people. As I continued to walk, I finally looked up and saw John Morton walking by himself directly ahead of me. I hadn’t said hello to him on this trip as of yet — and I was feeling like I didn’t want to be seen by anyone — much less John. So I slowed down so as not to catch up with him. And I noticed he slowed down. So I slowed down more. And he turned toward me as though waiting for me to catch up with him. So by the time I got to him he said something to me like, “well, you finally made it.” I mumbled something incoherent and then realized I wanted to ask him “finally made it where?” But by the time I had the presence of mind to do that, he had begun walking off and my opportunity was gone.
So what was my yearning for and never seeing Philae all about? Was it lack of clear intention? Was it some kind of laziness or inattentiveness on my part? Was it punishment? Was it protection? Or, was it just an odd set of coincidences that I had applied undue significance to? All those things have danced through my mind. And I am grateful that they are all pretty much gone.
Where I am now with this is in a very clear place. Very clear to me that I consistently ask (and have ever since I’ve known to — even back then) that only that which is for the highest good come forward. So I am as sure as I can be that my participation was perfect in those moments for the group action and for the highest good. Even though at the time I may not have had the awareness on the conscious level to know that, in hindsight I feel I did know my participation was on track on the other levels of consciousness that may have been more important at the time.
I was struck by John Morton’s referencing in the New Day Herald about the “Journey to the East” book by Hesse, which I’ve read and will read again. Maybe my participation for the highest good in support of the group physically attending the Temple at Philae was through my deep sleep or through Jim’s and my sojourn through Aswan in 1988 with our perfectly delightful Nubian cabdriver who was so overjoyed to show us the city he called home.
So maybe I’ll see Philae someday. And maybe I won’t. I’m really fine either way. Maybe I’ll get to go on PAT X and maybe I won’t. I’m fine either way on that as well. I’ve been just focusing a lot on sending Light and loving to that Holy Land for the highest good for what is going on now and in preparation for whatever is to come. I’ll let God decide what my outer participation is in this upcoming “Journey to the East.” That is the least I can do to express my gratitude for being allowed to be of service in the Traveler’s ministry. So the learning continues. I’m just keeping my eyes on the Lord.
MORE PAT JOURNEY STORIES
A Blessing at the Western Wall
The Unchanging Nile River Will Change You
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